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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Body Fat is Not Like the Limbo


Personal Trainer to Gym Buddy Allison and I: You wouldn't believe it, this morning this guy had his wife in here to get her body fat measured. But get this - he said he was training her and wasn't going to let up until she reached... five percent body fat!

Allison and I: *B horror movie gasp* Was he kidding?

PT: No, he was very serious.

Me: What's she at now? (Thinking perhaps she was a competitive body builder and he was the Ike to her Tina.)

PT: 35% Plus, she's 38 years old. He's got her working out 3-4 hours a day.

Me: What's he at?

PT: Dunno, he didn't want to be tested.

Me: Of course he didn't.

Allison: Does he work out?

PT: If you can call it that. He takes two hours to do two exercises. One chest press, rest 11 minutes. Two chest press, rest 11 minutes... you get the idea.

All of which begs some interesting questions:
1. Does he want to stay married?
2. Is he trying to kill her?
3. Has he ever seen a woman at 5% body fat?


Elvira says she's at 7% here. I'm just saying.

And 4: Most importantly, is that any way to motivate a person? I'm not saying that 35% is particularly healthy (normal for women is 20-30%) but 5% is beyond ridiculous. Even in competitive male bodybuilders 5% body fat is rare. And bodybuilders only stay in the low single digits for a competition. In their off-season they are significantly higher.

How Low Can You Go?
Despite our society's well-documented obsession with thinness, body fat is not like doing the Limbo. In fact, my gym's body fat chart actually says less than 16% is "excellent". So 0% would be ultra-excellent, right? As long as your definition of excellent is dead.

Body fat is necessary for survival. Our internal organs are cushioned with fat. Our nerves are coated with a myelin sheath made out of fat. Men need a minimum of 3% body fat for survival while women need a minimum of 10%. Anything lower than that and your body starts to break down, even to the extent of cannibalizing your heart muscle.

In women, amenorrhea (the cessation of menstruation) occurs somewhere between 7 and 14% although a woman with very good nutrition can go somewhat lower and still keep her periods. From my personal (ahem) experience, I lose mine around 12-13%. Amenorrhea leads to calcium loss and osteoporosis, not to mention fertility problems.

In addition, there are several other inconvenient side effects:

- You have no boobs. Boobs (men take note) are made up of fat. There is always silicone but without some subcutaneous fat they will just look like grapefruit halves wedged under your skin.

- You are cold all the time. Fat keeps you warm. That's what it's there for. You and me baby, we ain't nothing but mammals!

- You have skeletal pain due to the loss of padding between your bones and hard surfaces. I have never experienced this but according to a bodybuilder friend of mine, when he was at his lowest (4%) it was actually physically painful to walk barefoot. His words, "Those huge muscle-bound guys you see up there? Weak as kittens. After a competition half of them are going to walk off the stage and faint. You could beat up the other half."

- You lose the hair on your head and gain hair (called lanugo) all over your body as it tries to keep itself warm.

Now Here's a Funny Gym Story
Gym Buddy Allison and I come across this joker, "accidentally" whack him in the knee with an olympic weight bar, and then while he's distracted whisk his wife away to the nearest battered women's shelter. And then - this is the funny part - make him work out 3-4 hours a day until he can't walk.

I'm all for helping someone get healthy (as long as they are asking for your help, that is) but this guy's technique was certainly lacking. What do you do to help your spouse/child/friend/pet make healthy choices?

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