The Trick to Tabata Workouts [Bring a Barf Bag]

This is one way to ensure you are running at maximal ability. Not that I recommend it.

20 seconds of work followed by 10 seconds of rest. That's one Tabata interval or "Tabata" if you're in the gym and want to sound like all the cool kids. Sounds simple, right? This little gem, a staple of most of the hardest workouts around, revolutionized - some say even began - the fitness frenzy surrounding high intensity interval training or "HIIT." (To prove you're both hip and culturally relevant, feel free to tell your workout partner to "HIIT me baby, one more time!" Bonus points if you do the hair-flippy move. Extra bonus points if your partner replies, "Ok, Bit-Bit!"(Double parenthetical: Have you seen that video lately? She was such an earnest little singer! And, also, there's no way she hasn't had a boob job.))

Why Tabatas?
So how could something so simple be so revolutionary? According to the research, first started by Tabata himself on elite Japanese athletes, doing as little as four minutes (or 8 Tabatas) can increase your aerobic capacity, anaerobic capacity, VO2 max, resting metabolic rate, burn more fat (and make you look 200% crazier) not only as good as, but better than, a traditional 60 minute aerobic workout. That's right - 4 minutes of Tabatas can get you better fitness gains than a whole hour of running on the treadmill.

How To Do Tabatas
So why isn't everyone doing them? Well I said it was simple but I never said it was easy. In fact, if it is easy then you're doing it wrong. Those 20 seconds of rest are balls-to-the-wall* all out 100% effort. You should see stars. Your heart should be trying to claw a hole in your chest cavity to get out. You should be able to play Rorshach in the ginormous puddle of sweat surrounding your machine. You might even see a light and a long tunnel (don't worry, you're not dying it's just the flashlight thingy the medics are shining in your eyes to check for a concussion after you passed out and hit your head on the treadmill handlebars.) You know those RPE (rate of perceived exertion) charts on the wall of every gym? During Tabatas, you should be a 10+. Barftastic!

Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be a runner to do Tabatas. Any aerobic activity - biking, swimming, jump roping, boxing, squatting, Matrix-style building jumping - can be adapted to a Tabata interval. Although for beginners, running is probably the simplest way to start. For myself, the best (read: hardest) Tabatas I've ever done were punching Sensei Don during Karate class. Yeah, yeah, he was holding pads up. (I split my knuckles wide open on 'em and he still made me finish! I have never been so proud of workout wounds.) Incidentally, the very first Great Fitness Experiment I ever ran - over 3 years ago - was Tabata intervals for twenty horrible minutes on the stationary bike. To this day, the Gym Buddies and I do them about once a week.

To do a running Tabata, all you need is a track or a treadmill. If you are on the track, simply run at full speed for 20 seconds, stop and suck wind like you're the only windmill keeping South Dakota on the grid for 10 insanely short seconds, and then repeat 7 more times. If you are on the tready, power that baby up until it sounds like a jet ready for takeoff. The Gym Buddies and I do max speed but just do whatever you think is the fastest you can run. It will look scary and too fast but you'll be fine once you jump on, I promise. (Or you'll fall off. I've done that too. You'll still be fine, albeit a tad rug-burned.) Jump on and run for 20 seconds. Straddle the belt and hoover in some air for 10 seconds. Repeat 7 times.

The Trick
The trick to a good Tabata workout is this: a good timer. You cannot estimate when 20 seconds and 10 seconds have passed. I promise you. No matter how good you think you are 1-mississippi-ing, your brain will be so fuzzy that you will need help. If you are running on a treadmill you can use the clock on the display - just make sure you start on a 0 or you'll have to do math and sprint at the same time which adds a level of difficulty not even Einstein would want.

If you're not on a treadmill though, timing is hard. There is an iPhone app for it (if there's a "Pocket Girlfriend" app, of course there's a Tabata timer!) but who wants to hold their phone in their sweaty hand while they're sprinting so hard that blackness is overtaking their vision thereby making it highly likely they will crash into something (a real girlfriend, maybe?)? You can download a "Tabata song" onto your iPod that just beeps repetitively for half an hour but then you can't listen to your music while you do it. You can also program your watch to beep in intervals but if you can figure out how to do that then you're smarter than me and my computer science degree put together. (Ok, not that that's hard - I'm a ridiculously bad programmer.)

The easiest way I've found is to just get a simple gym timer. Gymboss sent me one of theirs to try out for free and I really liked it. Its only purpose in life is to be an interval timer. No worries about deleting your podcast or resetting your lap count or accidentally changing your ring tone to *beep* 20 seconds *beep* 10 seconds. You can set it to any interval you'd like and it also has a vibrate option if you prefer to be discreet with your Tabata-lovin'.

Any of you love (to hate) Tabatas like I do? How do you time yours? Are you the kind of person who prefers short super-intense workouts or would you rather run at a steady pace for 60 minutes than endure a HIIT? Anyone else ever fallen off the treadmill??

*All these years I've been saying this, I have thought it had something to do with running balls - as in basketballs, kickballs, whatever-balls - to the wall in some kind of mad speed drill. But having just typed that out I think it may perhaps have a cruder meaning? Although I can't imagine what those balls would have to do with walls and running. Please don't disillusion me. Update: Chelsey educated me in the comments, "I believe that "balls to the wall" is actually an aviation metaphor. That stick that they push forward to make the plane go faster has a ball on top of it and when it's pushed "to the wall" you are going all out." So both my innocent and dirty thoughts were wrong! Buwhahahah!

Telling Yourself You Are Beautiful, The Robert Downey Jr. Edition

All images are from the Pinup RDJ blog, which the artist delightfully explains thusly: "Vintage pinups are the pinnacle of art. Robert Downey Jr is the pinnacle of sexy. It's not rocket science."

For those of us not lucky enough to be the love child of Robert Downey Jr. and a pin-up girl, feeling beautiful on a daily basis can be hard. While it is easier than easy to look into my children's eyes every day and tell them they are gorgeous or tell a Gym Buddy they look stunning (sweat-soaked hair and all) or to tell my husband that I think he's hotter than the day I married him, telling myself is... well, I just don't.

My husband has this annoying habit of whenever I say something negative about myself immediately replying with "Now say 5 nice things about yourself! And it can't be 'I make beautiful kids.'" If I refuse, he then tickles me until I either squeak out 5 nice things or I pee myself, whichever comes first. And after birthing five babies all I can say is that man loves his carpet cleaner. (Side note: I do not enjoy being tickled. I really don't. I'm laughing because for some biological reason I can't help it but deep down I hate it. It's the weirdest sensation, laughing like a hyena and simultaneously hating every second of it.)


My point here is not that I have filthy carpets - although I do - but that I find it ridiculously hard to look myself in the eye and give myself a genuine compliment. It's hard enough learning to accept a compliment from a stranger but it's like the first round of college-level calculus to accept a compliment from myself. How messed up is that? If I don't believe that I'm a beautiful, worthwhile, lovable human being, then who will?

Part of Geneen Roth's program is learning to be kind and loving with yourself. This is harder than it sounds. I am so used to beating myself up for every mistake I make. You should have heard the string of mental profanities I let fly every time I "failed", whether that meant not getting a job I wanted, totaling my car (oh yes I did!), or even gaining a pound. I was my own worst enemy. Over the past 3 months I've made a very concerted effort to kill the mean talk. Geneen calls it "talking back to the voice." I call it refreshing.

At first it took a lot of mental energy to combat all those negative messages. I took a count and in one day, I said over 500 cruel, mean, evil things to myself. 500! These days it is significantly less. And I think that is one of the biggest reasons I am feeling so hopeful these days. When I eat too much, instead of cursing myself out and vowing not to eat for the next 3 days to make up for it I quietly whisper in my head, "It's okay. You can eat when you're hungry. I will feed you. You can stop when you're full. I'm going to take care of you." Now when I mess something up - which I do with shocking regularity - I say very gently to myself, "It's okay, everyone makes mistakes. I still love you. God still loves you." You would be amazed at what a difference that simple statement has made.

But I've yet to say it out loud.

I remember Katie O. of (the sadly defunct) Sister Skinny telling me once how when she looked at herself in the mirror and told herself she was beautiful that she broke down in tears, it was so powerful. She challenged me to try it. I said I would. But I didn't. Every time I tried the words just wouldn't come out.

So when I got an e-mail about The Beauty Message Challenge, I was intrigued. The idea is simple: tell yourself you are beautiful every day for 10 days. That's it! There's a video on the site explaining it in greater detail. (They give you some tips and try to sell you an iPhone app.) This is kind of like Operation Beautiful, except instead of leaving notes for strangers - which is an awesome concept and one I totally support - you leave the notes for yourself.

For my challenge I decided I want to do a mixture of both. Frankly I'm not sure I can do it this time either but I'm going to try. And hey, if it doesn't work the first time, I'll just cut out Robert Downey Jr.'s face and paste it over my own and then it'll be easy peasey! Any of you want to take the Beauty Message Challenge or do Operation Beautiful with me? Do you have a hard time telling yourself out loud that you are beautiful? What happened the first time you did it? Did you cry too? Anyone else HATE being tickled?


UPDATE: Reader Ali linked to the best short film ever in the comments and I had to bump it up here so you all can see it. It's a little long but if you've got 16 minutes, you'll be grinning all day I promise. Because you ARE great!! (Love you Ali!)

Mini-Experiment: The Circus Workout is the Most Fun I've Ever Had

I'm running away to join the circus. You will forgive my impending abuse of hyperbolic punctuation, then: OHMYGOSH YOU GUYS I HAD SOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!!!!

Last night was my first - and definitely not last - circus class at Gleason's Gymnastics (for any of you locals looking for a fun time). For some reason nobody else signed up for my class so I got a two-hour private lesson with Shannon and Sam who are competitive circus performers. (Side note: would you not love to see a circus competition? I picture a lot of backstage nose tweaking and fake-flower water squirting.)

Circus jokes aside, this stuff is a serious workout. You should see Shannon and Sam; they are two of the buffest people I have ever met. We started off "warming up" on the trampoline where I'm impressed everyone with my mad seat-drop skillz. And my ability to carpet-burn my elbows on every single trick. The gym was unconditioned and with the heat index here in Minneapolis being about 100 degrees F, within 20 minutes I sweating so much I could barely see and I smelled like a monkey post-feces fight. Bikram Circus class!

Next up was the apparatus (apparati? apparatuses?). I did the aerial silks (pictured above and probably my favorite), the trapeze (also my favorite), the straps (would have been my favorite had it not left really angry red welts all over my arms), the tightrope (my favorite because I walked across it without falling on my very first try and was even able to kneel down and stand back up again which made me proud like Tina Turner even though the rope was only about a foot off the ground thereby saving me from crotching myself but whatever I'm done having kids anyhow), and the balance board thingy (not my favorite - there is no flying involved). We ran out of time to do the hammock, the aerial hoop and the juggling but they promised me I could try them next time I come.

Because all of the stunts are very upper body intensive, it is a killer workout for your arms, shoulders, back and lats. Nothing is more motivating to keep pushing than the knowledge that if you do let go you will plummet 35 feet to the mats below. Gives a whole new meaning to "muscle failure" - no way to cheat your sets when you're swinging upside down from a trapeze! Combined with swimming laps yesterday morning for August's Great Fitness Experiment I don't know if I've ever worked my upper body so hard. (Confession: I am going to rename this month's GFE to the Great Humility Experiment because great googley-moogely, swimming is hard. We went in to swim a half mile thinking it would be a piece of cake and 30 minutes of clawing our way through the water trying not to kick anyone in the head we finally did. Technically only Gym Buddies Allison and Megan did. I was 3 laps short and still thought I was going to die. Know what happens when you are sucking wind in the pool? You drown. All of you guys that told me I'd be sore in places I didn't know I had were so very very right. Unfortunately for me, Allison and Megan looooved it so I see a lot of lap swimming in my future. Good thing I love these girls.)

My conclusion: Not only is a circus class a fantastic workout both for cardio and strength but it is hands-down the most fun Experiment I have ever done. And I have loved me a lot of different workouts. This one truly felt like I was just having fun - I got to fly like in my dreams! - and the exercise was incidental. There was not a single moment where I felt like I had to just gut through it. Plus Shannon and Sam told me I was the best first-time student they've ever had (I climbed to the top of the silks and rang the bell on my first try!) so it appears that after being just so-so (I'm all heart but not much athletic ability, 'tis true) at most athletic endeavors, I might have found something that I have a natural aptitude for. Look for me in a circus near you! Except I refuse to eat circus peanuts; those are the nastiest candy ever created, like packing peanuts but grosser.

So tell me, what kind of workout just feels like FUN to you? Any of you love that feeling of flying through the air or are you afraid of heights? Which candy gets your vote for most disgusting?

Recruiting All Weekend Workout-ers! Blast Your Booty! Plus Get a Great Deal on a Heart Rate Monitor!

This particular butt exercise is not recommended by me. FitJerk, maybe.

The incomparable FitJerk (of ab burnout fame) has designed a butt-blasting workout just for GFE readers! The Gym Buddies and I will be doing it in the gym on Monday - for any of you local folk who want to join us - and we'll be taking pictures, laughing and undoubtedly making a host of inappropriate puns (how could we not?) I'll be posting the detailed workout and blogging our tighter butts on Tuesday and would love to have you guys try it too! Send me pics, send me your thoughts, heck - send me the quarter you bounced off your rear! And we'll all get toilet-sore together!
Happy butt lifting!

UPDATE: Woot.com's deal of the day today (Saturday, Mar 20) is a Proform combination heart rate monitor for $30 (US)! It has continuous HRM via a chest strap and touch pad option. Tracks cals/laps/splits/zones/etc. GREAT deal! Done at midnight tonight.

The Perfect Diet (For Your Body)

"Sugar can be the willpower you need to undereat"?!? The fact that this ever made sense to people just shows you how reliable diet experts are.

Food and I, we go way back. And it hasn't always been smooth sailing. Sure the boob juice and I were muy simpatico but then my brother was conceived and I was bumped to formula. After that, food and I have had a tumultuous relationship. I've been a vegan, a low-carb meatatarian, and everything in between. Basically I have food schizophrenia. You remember Runaway Bride that reaaallly old movie with Julia Roberts? There is a scene where she has to decide what kinds of eggs she likes best: Deviled? Dilled? Poached? Scrambled with cheese? She doesn't know because all of her life she has let whatever man she is dating decide for her. So finally she sits down with 2 dozen plates of eggs and tries them all. (Side note: anyone remember which eggs she picked? I so totally don't but I hope it wasn't deviled because EWW.)

This is what I need to do with dietary advice.

All my life I've been following different experts as they tell me what to eat, what not to eat and what to look down on others for eating. Not only is my brain filled with a veritable avalanche of conflicting research and bold ALL CAPS quotes but there is a whole furor of emotion attached. This food is good. That one is bad. Those over there will KILL YOU. This causes me much anxiety over a subject that, frankly, ought to be a non issue. Food is fuel. Just eat what you need to survive and thrive, right?

If only it were that simple. The first thing diet - or, excuse me, nutrition - plans do is to separate food into good and bad camps. (Except for intuitive eating, duly noted.) The divisions are specific to each particular plan and are usually backed up by some kind of research. Almost always these plans are touted by a very persuasive expert who is 100% convinced that he/she is correct and that if only everyone would do exactly as they say the whole world would look like super models.

What I am convinced of, however, is that these experts have discovered a way of eating that makes their own bodies feel and look good but may not necessarily produce the same results in other bodies. In conversing with one expert, whom I won't name because I am now going to slam him, I said that I thought his diet failed to take into account hormonal differences between the genders. He replied, "A human body is a human body. If it works for me, it will work for you." I don't buy that. Granted, every diet will work to some extent for everyone - that's basic math - but I don't think that every diet will work the same for everyone. I truly believe that some people's bodies respond better to the Paleo way of eating while others respond to vegetarianism. (But no, Hannibal, I don't think anyone's thrives on cannibalism. Donner - party of 10! Oops, 9! I mean 8...) The trick then is to finding out which one works for your body at this time in your life.

And what a trick it is!

So last month when I started Lindsey's program, I decided to go all out in my weight loss efforts to lose those *(#$%& last ten pounds and make my diet squeaky clean. In my mind, this meant going with the most popular diet du jour - the lower-carb, high lean protein plan. After spending several years as a vegetarian I know that I don't like to eat meat but I bit the bullet and set up a nice little program that approximated the Zone proportions (40/30/30). Long story short: it failed. I spent half the month pulling my hair out and haranguing Lindsey as to why I had a calorie deficit of over 1,000 and yet I wasn't losing weight.

And then I gave up. It wasn't working. I was depressed about the whole subject. I just wanted to eat what I wanted to eat. But what did I want to eat? Fortunately at that time, the Okinawa Plan came into my life and in scanning the nutritional recommendations I discovered a plan that finally mirrored the way my body would eat if left to it's own devices. The book jogged my memory and I went back to my food and exercise logs to the time in my life when I was most happy with my body. Back when I was a "vegaquarian" eating no meat and very little dairy but lots of fish, whole grains, piles of produce and plenty of fat. (For those of you curious, left on my own I eat about 60/25/15% carbs, fat, protein.) Coincidentally this is also how the famously long-lived Okinawans eat.

Bidding adieu to my hated bag of boneless skinless chicken carcasses, I switched over to the Okinawan plan. This time though I resolved not to be "perfect." If I wanted a piece of meat - like I did on Sunday when we had ham to celebrate my sister's birthday - then I ate it. But 90% of the time I just want to eat my normal way. The results were immediate and gratifying. I lost 2 pounds that week but the best part was how good I felt! My mood was more positive, eating less fraught with anxiety and, like Heather (who eats almond butter) and also eschewed the high-protein diet in favor of carbier fattier fare, I saw improvement in my skin. I also noticed that when I eat this way, I don't need to food journal as the weight comes off on its own. Crazy!

You wouldn't think I would need to keep relearning this lesson but now I know: I am the expert of me.

So what have you discovered about how to eat so your body feels best? Anyone else super susceptible to experts? What is your favorite way to eat eggs?

Total Ab Burnout in 6 Moves (or less!) [Mini-Experiment]

When FitJerk posted his "Jerkdominal Blast" on Twitter, I might have just smiled remembering that my abs are only 2 months post baby expelling and not exactly up to anything involving blasts - or jerks for that matter - except that he said the magic word. No, not "please." He said challenge. I cannot resist a challenge, a fault that has put me into more than one regrettable situation (cliff dancing anyone?). Thankfully many of you share the same flaw and quite a few of you jumped in too:

So this morning found two of my Gym Buddies - the long suffering Allison and Krista - and I ready to make our abs so sore we wouldn't dare find anything humorous for at least a week. After doing Lindsey's hour-long Killer Barf Circuits in just 45 minutes which is why we are so red-faced and smelly in the above pic (it's a scratch-n-sniff!), we got down to work.

Since FitJerk said these would make us weep, we snapped some pics to prove him wrong. And also, because who needs fitness models to properly demonstrate the moves when you have us to show you how to screw them up? Hence, The Gym Buddies present Total Ab Burnout in 6 (not) Easy Moves:

Krista demos the leg scissors. 20-30 reps, 2 second tempo. (Note: FitJerk said the real killer part about this ab workout is the tempo and he was right. Some of the moves, like this one, we managed to do just as he prescribed. Others though... well, you'll see what happened. )

Next up, Allison doing the decline crunches with weight plate. 15-20 reps, 211 tempo. (Up 1 second, hold 1 second, lower 2 seconds.) Notice Allison's perfect form holding the plate behind her head, instead of on her chest? Also notice her adorable grin? Yeah, both the form and the smile went out the window after the first rep. These suckers were the worst of the bunch - agony!

Krista's expression (and method of cheating by lifting up the plate during the crunch) is pretty indicative of what we really looked like. I believe her exact words were, "I feel like I'm having a baby!!!" (Bet you don't scream that one in your gym, FitJerk!)

The third move is the pulse up. 30 reps, 211 tempo. These weren't bad. P.S. Like all the crap in the background? We're messy worker outers, we are!


Move 4 is the power wheel roll out, 20 reps tempo 312. If there was ever a piece of gym equipment designed for hilarity, it is the power wheel. Somewhere there is a stat counter for how many times people fall on their faces using this thing.

Case in point. (Also, remember the time Gym Buddy Lisseth got this sucker stuck up her butt? Good times!)


Move 5 is the oblique V-snap, 15-20 reps 211 tempo. Ignore my bad form. I'm too busy posing for the camera. (What - don't you all do that when you work out?!)


Last move: V-ups! 15-25 reps, 211 tempo. If there was one thing I learned in gymnastics, it is how evil the V-up is. Thankfully, FitJerk's version is easier than the traditional V-up (you don't have to come up to a full balance on your tail bone!). Which isn't to say it was easy. It still sucked. (I would like to take a moment here to explain that we do not generally kit out in our weight gloves to do ab work. We just didn't have time to take them off between Lindsey's Killer Barf Circuits - now with less time and more puke! - and the abs because I only had an hour to workout this a.m. You may resume caring about other things now.)

The other great thing about FitJerk's ab workout is that it inspired him to make me his new muse (Okay so he may not have officially said that but I know he was thinking it.) as he was so impressed by what an awesome exercise community we all have here at The Great Fitness Experiment that he wrote a post about the importance of having workout buddies! Yeah, yeah he doesn't mention me by name but a good muse doesn't need to be directly invoked to inspire;) You're welcome FitJerk!

In the spirit of community (and also because kick boxing in hula gear is AWESOME and HILARIOUS), here are a few pics of Turbo Jennie's turbo crew after our Island Days workout:

Somewhere a ukulele is strumming!


We had 83 peeps kicking and punching in that little studio! Turbo Jennie said we set a Y record! (And yes, Becky there in the front did the whole class in a wet suit!)

And... one more from our Christmas photo shoot because we are adorable and I found it while I was cleaning off my camera's memory. That's Gym Buddies Lisseth, Megan, Allison, me, Turbo Jennie (kindly holding my leg up as I was too wiped to do it myself) and Krista.

So, how did the ab workout go for you guys? Will I be weeping tomorrow??

Pimping the Push Up

Once upon a time I could do a push up. Many, even! But then I got pregnant and had a baby and the phrase "shredded, ripped abs" took on a whole new meaning. You never know how much you use your core muscles until you no longer have any. I discovered this the other day when I talked my dubious husband into walking the track with the wee Jelly Bean so I could do half a Turbokick class. Maybe it was too early to go back to high-impact activities but I'm not going to lie to you, it was like fitness crack and I'll do it again the second I get another chance. I felt awesome.

Until we got to the ab portion at the end, that is. I wasn't expecting to be able to do the situps yet but when the teacher threw in a few planks and push ups I figured as I had kept up with my arm and shoulder strength, I should be fine.

Oh.
Ouch.
Owowowowowowoww.
Fall.
Faint.

Superheroes have nothing on my abs - not only are my abs invisible but they are apparently immaterial as well. Most people think of push ups as a shoulder/chest exercise but I'm here to tell you that your core also plays a big role. Thankfully at that point my baby had woken up and I fled the studio to nurse her and my broken bellybutton in shame. After that I resolved to work - slowly - on my push ups at home.

Despite being one of the best and most basic body weight exercises you can do, push ups often get overlooked unless you are selling funny handles that aren't attached to anything. Part of that I think is being nose to the ground puts you on eye level with all the nastiness on the gym floor - go to muscle failure and you're flossing your teeth with a hairball of suspicious origin. Not to mention their unfortunate rep as the punishment exercise, as in "drop and give me 20!" But the real reason I think push ups are so often relegated to workout filler is that they're boring.

Okay, they're boring and they hurt a lot.

One way to pimp your push ups that has been popular of late is to do the 100 push up challenge. Our own Sagan, Merry, Quix, and many others of you in blogland are alumni of this program. But I needed to smart smaller so when I came across an upper body workout from Pop Pilates I figured it would be a good warm up. Plus it was free and only ten minutes. How hard could it be?

Warm up, my pajama clad booty! It kicked my butt.

Between grunts of pain and unauthorized time outs, I gained a grudging respect for the power of Pilates. I always knew it was great for core strength but who knew it could be a whole body workout? (Okay, Alyssa knows, I'm sure.) There were three different kinds of push ups including a variety with your hands pointing in that I had never seen before. Those are some killer push ups. Seriously, you have to try it.

So today I'm challenging you: bored with normal push ups? Looking for a way to fit exercise into your day today? See if you can do this whole workout without pausing or taking any breaks. (I couldn't!) If you're already Tarzan chestacular then try doing the workout on your toes. It's only ten minutes!



Still too easy? You'll love this one:

Did you make it all the way through? How do you feel about push ups - love 'em or hate 'em? What is your favorite variety of push up? What's the nastiest thing you've seen on your gym floor?

The Every Other Day Diet Revisited

Whether it was some quirk of the Google gods or my Internet karma coming back to smack me for writing about Will Ferrell, a post I wrote about trying (and failing) the Every Other Day Diet has come back to haunt me. Some people get ghosts in chains that inspire them to buy large turkeys for Christmas. I just get visited by the Ghost of Diets Past.

Back in September of '08, I confessed to my epic fail of diets. It was a program I'd read about in a magazine where you eat whatever you want one day and then severely restrict (300-400 calories) or fast the following day. The idea was that you'd only have to diet half of every month and yet you'd still lose weight. It's not faulty on principle. I do think it would work if only for the fact that anytime you slash and burn calories like that you will see some results. Unfortunately for me it was a one-way ticket to the blood sugar roller coaster ride from hell. One week found me weeping on the floor pleading mercy. You can read the past post if you want all the gory details. (Warning: there is a candy massacre.) So that was it for me.

At least I thought that was it. Until about two weeks ago when I started getting daily comments on that ancient post. Pretty much every single one of them was to tell me what an idiot I am - and those were just the nice ones. Normally I let those comments slide; it's the cost of blogging and I'm cool with people expressing differing opinions than mine. I prefer it if they remain civil but I understand people get worked up about certain things. And this diet is apparently one of those things. Want to really offend someone? Criticize their favorite diet. So in an effort to appease my Google SEO and to put some offended minds at ease, I'd like to clarify.

1. [correction: Jon Benson also wrote book called "Every Other Day Diet", not to be confused with Dr. John Daugirdas who wrote a book called "The Every Other Day Diet"] The books both seem to describe how to follow his diet. I have not read this book [either of them]. Ever. The plan I followed I found in a magazine although I'm guessing the mag was parsing his book. So when I criticized the EODD, I was criticizing the diet-one-day-feast-the-next principle, not Dr. Daugirdas' or Jon Benson's books.

2. It didn't work for me. Please note: for me. I didn't like it and I'm allowed to not like it. I'm glad that it worked for some of you because I'm all about finding what works for each individual person.

3. I'm not a professional diet guru or doctor or anything else. I'm one girl just sharing her experience so take it for what it is.

If I sound a little defensive and cranky, please forgive - I just spent an hour crawling through a McDonald's playland searching for my 3-year-old's shoes. Which we never found. And then he soaked his shirt at the water fountain and decided that naked is better than wet. No matter that it is December and there is snow. We went into McDonald's fully clothed and emerged wearing only socks - which I suppose is a good thing considering they won't let you in the Playland without them (the sign doesn't mention pants!) To top it off, the same child dumped out an 18-count carton of eggs on the floor and is now refusing to go to bed despite it being an hour and half past his bedtime. Oh, did I mention I have 4-week old infant? It's been a day. So please, enough with the crazy comments. You are certainly entitled to your opinion. I LOVE other opinions. Please do share your experiences with me. But cut the profanity and name calling or I will delete it.

To my regular readers - you know I love you guys! To the visitors - I hope you stick around, whether or not we agree about this diet. (Also, can someone please tell me why this is suddenly so popular? Did this Jon Benson have an affair with Tiger Woods too?!)

So, if I haven't completely scared everyone out of commenting, here's a new thread. Lay it on me: What are your thoughts about the every other day diet (either concept or book)?

The Weirdest Tip for Managing Cravings - And it Just Might Work

The things I do for you people. Seriously. Everyone around me thinks I'm one tinfoil hat short of an alien encounter. And I did it for you.

EFT
Pronounced "fffffftttt" (kidding - it's actually pronounced "I spit a lot"), Emotional Freedom Techniques is, in brief, a series of body movements, singing, tapping and eye rolling that you perform in a specific order to achieve emotional freedom.

Lest you say, "But I did not know I was in emotional bondage, Charlotte!" I must point out that everyone has some binding emotions. Think of this as an emotional laxative. Plus it will really make those holiday dinners a lot more entertaining once the Aunts get a load of you doing this.

Gary Craig, the founder of emofree.com, and one of the most ardent supporters of EFT explains, "Based on impressive new discoveries regarding the body's subtle energies, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) has proven successful in thousands of clinical cases. It applies to just about every emotional, health and performance issue you can name and it often works where nothing else will." (emphasis his, actually if you go to his site you will discover he is very fond of The Bold.)

He asserts that this technique will help with everything from pain management to addictions to eating disorders to weight loss and everything in between. For my studies though, I was particularly interested in how some people use the technique to help manage cravings.

To be completely honest, I was pushed into this experiment by my overly aggressive bag of Halloween candy (I hate you Willy Wonka and your CandyLand house of HFCS horrors). A junior mint here, a nerd there, pretty soon I was pooping green food dye and getting sugar hangovers in the mid afternoon. The neighbors were starting to talk.

Full of good intentions (and you know where those lead), I downloaded the free EFT instructional manual. First thing you should know - it's not a manual. It's eighty-freaking-seven pages. It's an e-book. As if your butt isn't already squished into the shape of your (very uncomfortable IKEA) office chair. I skimmed. A lot. Okay, so I just read the bolded stuff. But there was a lot of bolded stuff!

You get the two-minute rundown: basically there are points on your body that are supposed to be emotional release points. Using your index and middle finger you either tap or massage each point. Craig gives a very lengthy explanation and list of steps with various different formulations. Some would say I have a short attention span, I would say I'm built like a hummingbird, but however you look at it Paul McKenna is more succinct:

The Tapping Technique

1. I want you get the biggest desire for a food that you can right now. If you don’t have a big enough craving, put this technique to one side and come back to it when you’re really feeling it.

2. Focus on this craving for a moment, and when you’ve thought of that I’d like you to rate your desire for a food on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 the highest. This is important, because in a moment we want to know how much you’ve reduced it.

3. On a scale of 1- 10, how strong is your craving? Remember, if you’re not really craving a bite (i.e. your craving is not at least a 7), come back to this technique later.

4. Now take two fingers of either hand and tap about ten times under your collarbone while you continue to think about eating.

5. Now tap under your eye ten times.

6. Now tap under your collarbone again.

7. Place your other hand in front of you and tap on the back of it between your ring finger and your little finger. Continue to think about your desire for food as you do this and each of the steps which follow:

• Close your eyes and open them.

• Keep your head still, keep tapping and look down to the right then down to the left.

• Keep tapping and rotate your eyes round 360 degrees clockwise, and now 360 degrees anti-clockwise.

Remember to keep thinking about the food you were craving as you do this!

• Now hum the first few lines of ‘Happy Birthday’ out loud.

• Count out loud from 1 to 5.

• Once again hum the first few lines of ‘Happy Birthday’ out loud.

8. Stop and check – on a scale from 1 to 10, what number is your craving at now?

If it hasn’t completely gone yet, just repeat this sequence again until it does.

PS> There's a video if you follow the link to Paul McKenna's site.

That's right, you will be systematically tapping yourself in strange places whilst chanting happy birthday and counting like an over caffeinated preschooler. But other than your pride, what could it hurt to try?

For the last 3 days, every time I have gotten a craving for one of those nefarious little bars I have, much to my children's amusement, got down with the tapping, singing and eye rolling. In fact, it got so bad that the younger one really thought it was his birthday and the older ones were starting to imitate me. ("You can't do that sweetie, Teacher will think you have strange tics and send you home early and then I'll never get my workout in. Plus Teacher already thinks mommy is crazy because mommy missed your randomly assigned "birthday" - since you were a summer baby - and left you bereft of peanut-free cupcakes and/or smelly erasers.")

The end result? I ate less candy. For reals. I don't know why. Gary Craig would say that my negative attitude is making me skeptical. I personally think my negative attitude makes me fun at parties but I digress. Whatever the reason - whether it was just distracting myself long enough for the craving to pass or that I "set my emotions free" - it seemed to work. In fact, during one rebellious moment I consciously argued with myself about actually doing the technique:

Me: I want the Swedish fiiiiiisssshhhh!
Other Me: Do the EFT!
Me: No! Because then I won't want to eat the Swedish fish anymore.
Other Me: Well, huh.

I didn't do the EFT and I ate the Swedish fish, feeling marvelously defiant. Take that - ! Um, who am I rebelling against exactly? Me? Oh. Take that, me.

Like I said, I don't know why it worked. I don't even know if it will keep working. But there is a surprising body of research supporting this as a valid technique beyond just the power of positive thinking. Check it out. In the end, what do you have to lose? Except a little bit of credibility but who cares what those homeless people in the alley think. You shouldn't be shooting up smack anyhow. Besides, they're just jealous of your nifty hat.

Any of you have experience with EFT? Who's willing to do a mini-Experiment of their own? What holiday is your food downfall? (Mine's Easter - darn jelly beans.)

PS> Look for baby news coming soon! It is imminent!

The Supplement Your Personal Trainer Won't Tell You About

Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight I'd like to present to you to the 1992 winner of Molecule of the Year. (Yes, that's an actual award. No, I don't think you get a trophy or a modeling contract out of it. Yes, I know I'm a geek.)

Nitric Oxide (NO)
Tired of getting confused with it's hilarious-at-parties-but-really-vacuous-cousin N2O (a.k.a. laughing gas), this sexy little number plays a big part both in polluting our atmosphere and in running our central nervous system. It is also involved with how much hair you lose, penile erections, and acclimating to high altitudes. But aside from these nifty accomplishments, NO has another very interesting effect - it is one of the best vasodilators we have.

A vasodilator means that it works on the inner lining of your blood vessels to open them up by relaxing your smooth muscles and thereby increasing blood flow. It is frequently used in hospitals, particularly in pediatric units to treat babies with meconium inhalation lung problems. (For those of you who've not had a baby, meconium is the tar-like first poop that your precious little nugget excretes soon after birth. Incidentally only one of many strange substances that will ooze, spew and dribble from various orifices in said nugget. Some babies, however, poop while still in the womb. They then breathe in the meconium which can cause all kinds of problems.)

Who Cares?
You do. And here's why: it's become one of the hottest muscle building supplements on the market. That's right, one of the worst pollutants known to mankind and simultaneously a wonder pediatric drug, is being used to Pump You Up.

What does it do for you, exactly? According to one product, N.O. -Xplode, it does everything but cure malaria and solve Rubix cubes blind-folded. Bask in the unfettered (and unedited) hyperbole:

"N.O.-XPLODE is an extreme pre-training energy and performance igniter. From the very first serving you will experience elevated physical and mental energy, muscle-expanding pumps, unparalleled strength and stamina; not to mention tunnel-vision like mental focus, allowing you to zone in and have the best training session possible. By combining all of these benefits in one knock-out formula, you will experience a level of training intensity that you never thought was imaginable, getting you physically and mentally dialed in for the training session of a lifetime; leaving those days of lack-luster workouts behind. Once you train with N.O.-XPLODE, you will never train without it! NO-Xplode has the unique ability to get you dialed in and pumped up for every single workout by inducing a strong and advanced nitric oxide, creatine, and body-mind stimulating surge."

(Note to N.O. Xplode - I realize that spelling is not your strong suit but let me tell you that as a chemistry teacher it hurts me deep inside to see you punctuate N.O. That makes it sound like a rapper or a euphemism for something dirty, which amount to the same thing, I know. But. It is okay to just write NO. It is also okay to just say NO. To drugs. Just saying.)

Alter(ed) Egos
Sold under various names and formulations (such as Black Powder & MuscleTek NaNo Vapor), it is generally one of the more expensive supplements out there. GNC tries to hard-sell me on it every time I walk in their door. (Well, except they are in the mall so they don't have doors. But they do have a nice little massage chair! And now suddenly I'm rethinking my decision to buy vitamins from the mall.) Anyhow - typical retail price: $63.99-$79.99 for one bottle. Although the last time I went in the salesman tried to sell me on NO2 Black... for $103.99. Dreams of a fat commission vanished before his eager eyes as I plopped down two $13.99 bottles of fish oil. Although his frown could also have been because my kids just knocked over his entire display of vita-paks and were now riding the rowing machine like a pony.

Pros
I received this tip from a reader who wished to remain anonymous. He is a mid-20's collegiate competitive athlete who tested this out for us. Mr. X (for Xplode, NOT for XXX, sickos) seemed hesitant to talk about it at first but then waxed rhapsodic about being able to up his reps, maintain his weight through an extra set, and "push through previous barriers." He added that his perceived exertion was less for the same intensity of exercise and it also helped him stay laser-focused. He admitted that this last effect might be due to the caffeine, of which there is probably a lot although no product listed exactly how much. Mr. X added that this was one of his favorite supplements (the other being creatine) and that he felt it had provided measurable muscle gains.

Cons
Mr. X added an interesting caveat: He is a personal trainer and yet he would not recommend it to any of his clients. His reasoning was that as a highly trained athlete he knows what his limits are and what his body normally feels like so if anything fishy started happening he could back off immediately. A novice lifter would not have that self insight.

Other known side effects of NO include:
- headaches (the most often reported side effect - and a known effect of vasodilators)
- "Xplosive" diarrhea (Oh how I chuckled! I love punny people. Punny lifters? Even better!)
- dizziness, light headedness
- heart palpitations ("like I was on speed" - probably the caffeine)
- insomnia (again, probably the caffeine)
- increased flushing (getting red in the face, nothing to do with toilets people)

Conclusions
This is interesting to me. On one hand I love anecdotal evidence in the form of personal experiments. As long as the person is not getting paid to talk about the supplement (and Mr. X wasn't) then their opinion means a lot to me. Most muscle-building supplements just don't work but it sounds like this one might actually do something.

One the other hand, it's air pollution. You're imbibing fruit punch-flavored air pollution. That can't be good. Plus there's the whole vasodilation thing. I kinda like my veins the way they are (even if they are a little bulge-y). I also don't like supplements much in general. And if they put it in Viagra...? Lastly - $103.99?! Egads.

Any of you try this stuff? Tell me what you think of it! I need more input!! Also, what do you think of a personal trainer who takes things he wouldn't advise his clients to?

Update: Reader FitJerk, who is a professional supplement reviewer (didn't even know they had those!) made an iteresting point about the mechanics of this product in the comments that I was worth bumping up: "There is no NO being produced in these products. They contain the ingredient L-Arginine which is supposed to be a pre-cursor to N.O but it ISN'T! Studies have proved it. In fact, the amount of L-Arginine you'd have to take to even notice minute benefits of a "pump" is about 30g. At that dose you'll have stomach cramps and upsets before a major pump. The amount of L-Arginine in N.O Xplode is a few grams... if that. So it's all insignificant. The only reason you feel anything after taking this stuff is because of the 200+ mg of caffeine (about 2 cups of coffee worth) and the fact that your body produces a natural pump while resistance training. So if that's what you want, might as well just drink a friggin' RedBull."

Using Light Therapy to Combat Seasonal Affective Disorder

For a girl who hates winter as much as I do, moving to the Land of Eternal Winter (a.k.a. Minnesota, The State That Might As Well Be Canada) may not have been the best idea. While I love snow and adore Christmas, the combination of super-cold temps and very short days have a drastic effect on my mood. My problem first started in Seattle where while it doesn't have the Dementor's Kiss-esque cold that Minnesota does, it is far enough north to have precious few daytime hours - hours that are besmirched by constant cloud cover. Come October, I'd feel the anxiety begin to ramp up every day around dusk and an inexplicable irritation with every member of my household. November brought zombie-eyed apathy and a fierce desire to sit in the one warm spot in our house and not move, causing me to neglect basic necessities like laundry and keeping a kid from shoving red craft balls up his nose that could only be removed by a doctor with a special tool (he wanted to be Rudolph, see). By December, unless the kids need something I'm pretty much living full-time in front of said heating vent and craving simple carbs. And by January I'm fully and officially depressed. I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), a depressive state brought on by the lack of light in the wintertime that afflicts millions of people worldwide.

Last year I attempted to prevent the onset of my SAD by taking vitamin D supplements, a tactic that while certainly didn't hurt, failed to provide a significant improvement. In the past I have tried antidepressants which did lift the veil of depression but at the expense of some rather strange side effects (gotta say I kinda miss those crazy Cymbalta dreams!). It also seems silly to me to start taking a drug every year in December only to drop it cold turkey in April when the sun comes out, as I inevitably do. I've also tried other remedies for depression like fish oil supplements and exercise, the latter of which works beautifully. Except that I can't do it 24 hours a day (not that I haven't tried!)

Despite a solid body of positive research on the subject, the one thing I haven't tried yet is bright light therapy, mostly due to the pricey nature of most official SAD lights. But this year I found a deal on Amazon.com with this Verilux model and so my Christmas has come early: My (SAD) Happy Light arrived today!


It's hard not to judge a product by the box it comes in and so when Fed Ex dropped it off this very rainy and gloomy afternoon, I was struck with two impressions:
1. This sucker is big. Huge, actually. I have it set up next to my computer and it dwarfs my CPU.
2. The warning says very prominently "Do not use on the genital areas." Do I even want to know why that warning was necessary? No, no I do not.

According to the directions, you are supposed to sit in front of it - but not looking directly into it - for 30 minutes to 2 hours a day depending on the distance you are from the light and how much light you need. It works by tricking your brain into thinking you are in the bright summer sunshine by sending a barrage of visible light into your eyes. You are supposed to do it first thing in the morning to avoid messing up your circadian rhythms. Undeterred (and with my pants firmly on), I plugged it in and switched it on.

I now know what it must be like to watch nuclear bomb testing. Or to attend a Kanye West concert and bask in his self-professed light. It was practically blinding. This baby is packing 10,000 lux (the average indoor light is less than 1,000 lux) - the amount designated by scientists as the base therapeutic level for SAD. It's like my own personal spotlight; all I need now is a wind machine and I'm set!

Frequently Asked Questions About Light Therapy

Can't I just tan instead?
According to skincancer.org, the answer is no. Even though many tanning salons (falsely) advertise their product as cure for wintertime blues, tanning beds, which use UV rays (not part of the visible spectrum unless you are a honey bee), actually have no therapeutic light effect - especially if you wear the goggles - and they also cause skin cancer and cataracts. Bad news all around.

I have a history of skin cancer, can I still use a SAD therapy light?
Absolutely. The therapy lights, while very bright, are only comprised of the visible spectrum and have very few UV rays which are generally blocked by a filter on the lamp. The therapy lights work by helping you take in more bright light through your eyes; contrary to popular belief they are not supposed to work through your skin. They will not give you a tan. The therapy will be unaffected whether or not you wear sunscreen.

What should I look for in a SAD therapy light?
There is a lot of confusion on this one with many products from small incandescent "natural light" bulbs to large fluorescent blue floor lamps being marketed as such.

• Choose a Light Box With 10,000 Lux of Illumination. Light boxes offering fewer lux are not as effective.
• Use a UV Filter. Most light boxes use fluorescent bulbs, which emit a small amount of UV radiation. Your light box should have a UV filter or diffusing screen to protect your skin and eyes.
• Opt for Soft, White Lights. Full spectrum lights produce greater amounts of blue light (which can harm the eyes) and UV radiation.

Are there any side effects?
It's a very very bright light so you are advised not to use it at night as it may cause insomnia. Headaches and eye strain were also listed as potential problems although I think those could be avoided by not staring into the light itself. If you have known eye disease or other eye problems, you should consult a doctor first. There was also that whole genital thing although I'm not exactly sure what effect that is supposed to prevent.

How much do they cost?
Most medical models seem to be around $400 (for an ugly lamp?! I know.) but cheaper ones can be found. You just have to be careful that they still meet all the criteria. The one I found on Amazon was $175. Still steep but I told my husband that was all I wanted for Christmas. You can also find used ones on eBay and Craigslist. Some insurance providers will cover the cost if you get your doctor to write you an actual prescription for one (although my insurance wouldn't - jerks.)

Does it really work?
The research supports it. As for myself, I have only used it for one day and whether it was just the placebo effect or the light itself, I did feel like it made a definite difference in my mood and energy. The pamphlet said to use it for 10 consecutive days before the full effect would be achieved so I'll certainly let you know how it goes from here. For once, I am really hopeful going into fall!

Anyone else get SAD every winter? Have you tried a happy light? Any Canadians want to tell me to stop whining until I've experienced one of their winters?

Kiddie Workouts Offer Grown-Up Results

Adults exercise by lifting heavy stuff & running in circles. I'm not saying it isn't fun - you know I love the heavy stuff. Plus, I've spent a significant portion of my life climbing stairs that go nowhere, running on tracks and treadmills that feed on themselves like a life-size mobius strip and punching and kicking air. Why would I do all that if I didn't luuuurrve it? Oh, wait, because it's exercise and I'm supposed to do it. Because it's good for me. Like eating my peas (which I also love, incidentally).

But endorphin rush aside, remember when you didn't move unless it was for entertainment purposes? Back before your high school track coach taught you that running is pain after he chased you for an entire mile around the track throwing footballs at your head until you threw up - all in an effort to decrease your mile time? (True story.) Kids don't exercise because they are supposed to. They do things because they are fun. Exercise is incidental. We adults seem to have that equation backwards.

Fun Is Not Incidental
After a wave of adult-themed exercise trends a la Carmen Electra's stripper-robics & Teri Hatcher showing Oprah on national television how firm pole dancing makes your...arms, the newest trends seem to be going a more childlike direction. Less porn, more pogo-sticking. Wow, that came out dirtier than I meant it to sound. How about Less porn, more Parkour? Nope, still dirty. Double dutch? Hula hooping?? Egads I have a dirty mind.

Back to the children. A new wave of fitness products and trends that were formerly considered the strict domain of kiddies have been scaled for a grown-up crowd. Let's just try not to ruin these by making them about the exercise, okay?

Pogoing
Remember how high you could fly on that little spring-loaded stick? And then remember how lethal the tiniest little pothole could be? Now, forget that second feeling and focus on the first. (Okay worry wart - they have protective gear now. Yeah I know you cherish the skin on your knees. Me too.)

"With obesity rising [...], we need ways of exercise that seem like fun but burn a lot of calories in a short period of time," Nichelle Hubley, a kinesiology student, said in a statement. She added that a pogostick version of dodgeball is a great way to torch calories while still releasing your inner kid.

"In California gyms, pogo has become the latest workout fad." An instructor told ABC Good Morning America the activity is an all-body experience. So you know if they are doing it in California it has to be good for you. Right?? Besides, pogo sticks + dodge ball = extreme awesomeness.

Parkour
This new old sport is officially about using only the human body to move efficiently from one place to another. Unofficially, Parkour is all about doing exactly what your parents used to yell at you for and why you didn't get taken out in public a lot as a kid: climbing all over stuff. Participants wage a guerilla-style campaign on public landmarks and buildings, climbing, jumping, cartwheeling and by-and-large getting to their destination in the most dangerous way possible. It also is a lot of fun. Admit it, every time you pass that big fountain with the waterfall in the atrium of your work, you still have the urge to climb in. That's what I thought.

Want to see Parkour in action? Just type it in to you tube. Crazies everywhere post their latest and greatest. Be warned though, it is not for the weak of stomach.

Hula Hooping
You can buy hula hooping fitness videos, weighted specialty hoops and even "hoop gear" to trick out your circle. Even major fitness mags are getting in on the trend with new hoop workouts, like this one from Health.com. If you don't believe hooping can get your heart rate up (or if you just want to see something really cool), then you have to check out the Cirque du Soleil hoop act.

Jump Rope
This one never really went out of style, at least with boxers (and crossfitters!) but except for the occasional double-under, we adults have managed to remove all element of fun from this playground staple. There are amazing things one can do with just a couple of ropes and a bunch of crazy people. (Okay, technically that could encompass a lot more than jump roping but I'm not going there.) Check out this video that showcases the sheer athleticism of the humble rope at all skill levels:

Need more ideas? Head to the local playground. Just make sure to take along a kid though - going by yourself is creepy.

Other Kiddie Workouts I'm Dying To Try:
Trapeze aerobics (thanks to Turbo Jennie for the vid!). Aerial dancing (I have actually tried this one but it's been a long time!) Air yoga. Urban Rebounding. And yes I realize that all of these will have to wait until I'm no longer preggo. So - what's on your list of workout lusts??

Is Online Personal Training Right For You? (Plus Giveaway!)

The efficacy of personal training can be distilled down to one factor: the person in the "personal" trainer. This was the downfall of April's Great Fitness Experiment wherein I tried out Women's Health Magazine's online personal trainer. The problem was that other than me, there were no actual people involved and their computer wasn't any better at "training" me than their magazine articles are. (I'm still waiting for the trained monkey option.) After that experiment however, I got several e-mails pointing out that I had lambasted the whole online personal training industry unfairly. And while there are many sites run like the one I tested out, there are a whole other type run by a living breathing human personal trainer who just does his or her business over the web. (Ten points if anyone else just snickered!)

One Reader in particular caught my eye - probably because she lives just down the street from me - but also because her amazing physical transformation has been a hot topic around these parts for months. How did Reader Beth go from being a mom of 5 (her oldest is 7, her baby is 2) and looking like it to looking like the 20-something nanny? An online personal trainer. Her old college buddy Lindsey contacted her last January and offered to train Beth and her husband Nate - all over the internet.

At first Beth and Nate were skeptical - "How does she know if I'm making real progress if she can't even see me?" Nate wondered. In addition to not being able to see clients' progress (or lack therof), online trainers also can't check bodyfat percentages, weight lifting form and all of the little non-verbal clues from their client that would help them do their job better. But at a fraction of the cost of real world trainers - Lindsey charges $30 a month for her fitness or nutrition packages or $50 a month for both - the benefits can be great. Especially if you are the type who can be both very honest with yourself and honest in communicating with your online trainer. Bonus: they also can't offend you with their foul breath, obsessive self-checking in the mirrors or their overly enthusiastic atta-boy butt slaps.

So Beth and Nate both signed up for the exercise package and went to work. Their results are so astounding that at Nate's last doctor visit the doctor actually asked him for tips. Since January, Nate has lost 30 pounds and gained muscle. Beth managed to lose her pregnancy weight on her own but credits Lindsey with helping her drop an additional 10 pounds to reach her goal weight and also build muscle. I can personally vouch for how fantastic they both look.

Online Personal Training Vs. An Online Personal Trainer
Why was my Experiment such a boring failure while Nate and Beth's was such a huge success? They both credit it to having a real live person behind the computer screen. They checked in with Lindsey every week - although they were free to e-mail her more often if they had questions or needed motivation - and Nate says this accountability made all the difference to him. It also helped him that Lindsey was a stranger (to him) and so he felt he could be completely honest with her in a way that he feels he couldn't have been even with a real life trainer. "I hate lifting weights," he says, "but Lindsey would change around the program until we found one I liked and could stick with. If I were with a trainer and he told me to do a machine I didn't like, I'd probably just say okay and then not do it when he wasn't there."

In addition to the accountability factor, the couple also liked how varied the programs were (they received a new one every month), how easy it was to contact their trainer via e-mail, the recipes and other support they found on her site and, of course, the affordability. I'm guessing if I'd e-mailed Lindsey my (pretend) eating disordered food journal and workout schedule like I'd sent to the Women's Health Mag program, she would have spotted the problem right away.

If you are looking for an affordable and more anonymous way to get a personal trainer - with an actual person involved - then this type of online personal training could be an excellent solution for you. As in picking a real-life trainer just be sure to check to make sure they are credentialed, have a legitimate payment method on their site (i.e. you're not sending them money orders to a P.O. box), and offer references (and actually contact a couple of them!).

Bonus: On Lindsey's site today, she's got a giveaway going on as an incentive to check her and her services out! Let me know in the comments if any of you have used an online personal trainer and if so, how it worked out for you - feel free to link to their site if you recommend them! Also, if YOU are an online personal trainer, feel free to pimp yourself in the comments section as well.

Readers - are you the kind of person who needs a real-life Jillian Michaels all up in your grill or would you prefer the semi-anonymity of an online trainer?

Walking Barefoot: Fun Fitness Trend or Scientific Practical Joke?

Now, if I'd only had these babies...

Like many of my ideas gone awry, it seemed like a good plan at the time. First, it involved walking on a beautiful day and that alone can mitigate many a bad consequence. Second, walking is a time honored bipedal tradition - and one I'm learning to embrace more fully as a legitimate fitness method (Charlotte to Brain: "It is TOO a workout! Shut UP!!"). And lastly, many fitness experts backed up by current research extol the salutary effects of walking. You know I'm a sucker for anything involving research and experts.

Besides, all I needed to do was walk home from my church, a distance just over 4 miles. How could I go wrong with walking?

Problem 1: Footwear. Many of you chimed in over at Cranky Fitness' insightful and interesting post on what is the deal with women wanting beauty to the exclusion of almost anything else - including comfort. She 'fessed up to being a lifelong tomboy and I then had to admit to a horrifically stereotypical female adoration of all things girly. Especially tall shoes. And today's sassy little spring dress called for an adorable-yet-still-aware-of-the-chilly-weather boot. Namely these:

(No, I wasn't wearing a different color on each foot. I own the brown ones thank you very much.)

With the built-in platform, these babies are 5-inch stiletto heels. Cute but not definitely not up to a 4-mile power walk. (In fact, if I'm being completely honest, they're barely up to hobbling around indoor spaces for any length of time greater than an hour.) I contemplated my options, roaming my church building for anyone I might know who could give me a ride as I'd had to stay late for a meeting and sent my long-suffering husband home ahead of me with all the children. No rides in sight and hitchhiking not a good option, I decided to just strip off the boots, stuff them in my backpack and walk home. Barefoot.

I was even excited about the prospect as barefoot walking is supposed to be one of the new health crazes (crazies?) and the way home is quite picturesque. Besides, what could be more idyllic than a girl in a spring dress wandering barefoot through the dandelions? I felt like a Monet come to life.

For about the first half mile. Turns out that dandelions are very prickly and lawns in my suburban neighborhood are actually very sparse in comparison to the vast amounts of concrete and asphalt. You think running on concrete/asphalt is hard on your body? Try walking on it. By two miles the soles of my feet were in so much pain that I briefly considered going native and trying to weave myself a pair of sandals... out of plastic bags, fast food wrappers and - most strangely - a Swine Flu mask that I found on the side of the road. (Seriously, what up with the litter Lakeville??)

By mile three I knew I could go no more. My feet burned and my toes were swollen and I was stepping in such a weird way that I'm pretty sure my calves will be in mutiny tomorrow. Stupid boots. Who wears non-functional footwear? Scratch that, who wears non-functional feet?! What is wrong with my pampered tootsies that they can't even take a four-mile jaunt across sidewalks and lawns? Dejected, I dropped my crazy-heavy backpack and plopped down on top of it, leaning up against the street sign between a lube shop, a Pizza Hut and a motel of a dubious nature. Which is when I realized I'd gone from Girl Walking in Flowers to Girl Doing Apparent Walk of Shame (except I'm already knocked up so it's like twice the shame!).

I called my husband from my cell phone. "Look honey..." He was worried, "What did you do now?" I hung my head. "I'm just down the street but you're going to have to pile all the kids in the car and come pick me up. Literally. As in you might have to carry me to the car." After what seemed like an inordinate amount of time to drive a mile - during which I was amused by Turbo Jennie's texted adventures in Wal-Mart and the honking of several cars - my family arrived with the two-year-old hoisting a "rescue flag" out the window (handy had I been in an avalanche).

Having spent the rest of the day limping around my house and wincing everytime I stepped on a cheerio, I think I have learned my lesson. And that would be to never trust a researcher wearing shoes. No wait, it would be to always carry a pair of flip flops. Actually, what I learned is that things that sound good in the lab don't always translate very well to real life.

Any of you ever had to hike in ridiculously inappropriate shoes? Or, like Cranky, do you refuse to suffer for fashion? Anyone else wander barefoot and pregnant through their city streets this weekend?