As most of you may know, I'm 1.5 weeks out from Nationals in Atlanta GA. This will be my 4th show of the year, and it's been one long year of continuous dieting. Sufficient to say, despite how much I love my lifestyle and love competing, there are some days when it's hard. When you get this close to a show and you've been dieting for so long, the physical exhaustion can easily seep into your mental state, and that's where problems occur. For me, at this point, I'm usually so tired, sore, and depleted, that it becomes a mental challenge to not only push myself through my workouts, but to push myself to even get up off the couch.
There are times when I feel very alone in all this. Despite being blessed with a solid support system, there are moments when I'm in the gym, I'm sweating, I'm tired, I'm plugged into my IPod, and I feel nothing but isolated. Alone. It's times like that, when you REALLY need to dig deep and remember why you're doing what you're doing. Because at the end of the day, you ARE alone. Despite any support you may or may not have, your dreams will never be as important to someone else as they are to you. My Pro card will never be something my parents dream about, or my trainer dwells on, because even though they want it for me, they don't want it for themselves, and wanting something for yourself is where true passion occurs.
I know many of you reading this may not be "vying for a pro card", or on your 4th damn contest prep of the year, but negate that extreme for a minute and insert yourself into this saga. How many of you wake up and feel like doing ANYTHING but eating egg whites and oats? How many of you feel like doing ANYTHING but going to the gym? How many of you sit out to dinner with friends and family and feel so isolated because they're guzzling cheese fries, wine, and greasy burgers while you nit pick at a chicken salad with vinaigrette? How many of you are TIRED of explaining your cooler to co-workers? See my point? No matter where you are in the process of your goals- there are moments that, well, frankly, SUCK. There are moments of isolation. Moments where you feel alone.
And that's OKAY. Be your biggest fan. Dig into that isolation and really give yourself a chance to shine. Find out what YOU'RE MADE OF. You'll be amazed at what you can do without the help out outside resources. You don't need anyone to go to the gym with you, to diet with you, to hold your hand on the path to your goals. You can do it yourself. Dig deep and believe that with all your heart and suddenly those moments of isolation become moments of peace and reverence. There is a deep rooted confidence that comes from a TRUE belief that you CAN do something- whether it be step on stage, shoot for that pro card, apply for that new job, or work off those last pesky 5 lbs.
Your goals may hold weight with others, but they will never be as important to anyone else as they are to you- so make it YOUR mission to treat that with a sense of sacredness. Cultivate your goals. Learn to depend on yourself, be your own biggest fan, and find peace in the "sometimes" isolation of your journey.
And let the successes be many :)
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