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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Are Miracle Noodles Really Miraculous? [Help!]

Is this not the cutest noodle eater ever?? She even has a Hello Kitty fork! My uterus is squeeing!

Dear Readers,
Sometimes I have questions that not even endless Googling can answer. Like, for instance, how has Perez Hilton not been arrested by now? Even if he didn't tweet an upskirt pic of teenaged Miley Cyrus sans undies (Unanswerable question #2: Why on earth would any starlet leave the house in a skirt and no panties these days?) certainly there is some law about being a general offense to humanity. Or at least an offense to my maiden name. Also, why is it that Bradley Cooper cops to losing all his A-Team muscles mere weeks after the filming ended but he isn't splashed all over the tabloids for failing to keep his perfect body, like any female celeb would be?

But celebrity behavior likely to forever remain a mystery to me, the question I am pondering tonight is whether or not The Miracle Noodle is too good to be true. Made from some plant fiber I've never heard of called glucomannan, the noodles are calorie free, gluten free, sugar free and carb free. How these things manage to remain corporeal is beyond me. They should have called them the Mystery Noodle.


In the past, I have tried these tofu shirataki noodles that are similar to the Miracle Noodle except that they have about 20 calories per serving and contain, duh, tofu. Despite being kind of a pain to cook - you have to drain them, rinse them and then dry them in a hot skillet, these noodles tasted all right. Kinda chewy, not innately flavorful, they were almost the same as regular rice noodles. Almost. You all remember what happens to me when I eat processed soy, right? Horrible, awful, room-clearing gas. These noodles almost earned me a one-way ticket to Antarctica. So after the package was gone, I didn't buy anymore.

The Miracle Noodles however are tofu free (along with everything else -free) and so ostensibly would not cause such intestinal distress. So why don't I just buy a package and try it? Apparently the only way to order these babies is by the case. It's $32.99 for a box of 10 packages. That's pretty steep just to try a bowl of noodles that I may possibly hate.

Which brings me to you guys - have you heard of these noodles? What's the catch? Will the special fiber have me surfing an oily wave Olestra-style? Are they worth buying an entire case of? Oh, and if you could answer questions #1, #2, and #3 regarding Perez, Miley and Bradley that would be awesome too!

Kicks and Kisses,
Charlotte

PS> If I love them, will I need to invest in one of these?

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