David Beckham: Loan is up on March 9

The David Beckham saga took another twist tonight when Los Angeles Galaxy coach Bruce Arena insists the England midfielder is expected back in the United States next week.

But Beckham's team mates don't seem to share their coach's certainty that he'll return to LA when his AC Milan loan spell expires.

Despite speculation that an agreement was close between the Galaxy and AC Milan to allow Beckham to stay on loan with the Italian club until mid-July, the former Manchester United player was named in the Major League Soccer club's 24-man roster for the forthcoming season, which starts later this month.

Beckham, who wants to stay in Italy's Serie A, is due back in LA when his two-month loan agreement with Milan expires and Arena told the Los Angeles Times today that nothing had altered as far as he was concerned.

Does it Matter What Your Personal Trainer Looks Like?

There are many good reasons to hire a personal trainer but are their looks one of them? Paul "PJ" James, a personal trainer in Australia, wants to find out by going from "hunk to chunk" and back again in an effort to empathize with his clients and answer this question for fitness professionals everywhere. The former underwear model is going from 180 pounds of chiseled muscle to 265 pounds of chub by the end of March.


It's tough being a fitness professional. And I say that never having been one so you know if I, a lay person, think it's hard then it must be. Because my opinion on things I have no personal experience with is never wrong. Ahem. On one hand, a buffed-out body makes you a walking recommendation for your services and shows you walk your talk. But on the other hand, a client might prefer a trainer who has trudged a mile in their EEE's both for the sake of empathy and to rule out freaky model genetics. (I do, as a side note, have a personal trainer friend who subsists on nothing but pizza, beer and hot wings and still has 8-pack abs. I'd hate him except that he lets me beat him at trivial pursuit so I feel like the genetic gifts are evened out.)

Regardless of how the client looks at their trainer, like rock stars and actresses, every fitness professional I know understands that their body is part of their job. Dr. Stacey over at Every Woman has an Eating Disorder speculates that this leads to a higher incidence of disordered eating behavior in the fit pro crowd. Myself, I think the correlation begs serious examination - does working at a gym promote eating disorders or are eating-disordered people naturally attracted to the gym? ('Cause hey you know we're there all the time anyhow - might as well get paid for it!) Probably both.

Whether Trainer PJ was eating disordered before his experiment isn't stated, but he certainly seems to be now. In his quest to gain all that weight in just a few short months he's "stopped exercising and taken to foods like Krispy Kreme doughnuts, pizza and a lot of heavy pasta like cream-based pastas. And he bought the deep-fryer, where he sticks chocolate bars among other typical diet no-nos." Not exactly the healthiest way to gain weight. But then unhealth is actually what he is seeking. He hopes by going through process of gaining and then losing a substantial amount of weight he will learn how to better help his overweight and obese clients lose their weight.

My gut reaction to this story was "how sweet!" Anything that furthers better understanding between people is all good in my book. And it is great progress from those personal trainers who just tell their clients to do something because it worked for them. But I do worry that he is setting himself up for some health problems, at the very least. Not to mention it all feels a bit... publicity whore-ish. I'm conflicted.

What are your thoughts on this story? Do you personally look for a fit pro who looks the part? Or do you feel more comfortable with someone who appears to be more real?

Free Gift With Purchase: A Tale of Two Bags

Bag Number One (mille grazie to Turbo Jennie for the tip!):

The question must be asked: Who is this bag for?

Men enjoy looking at scantily clad supermodels and yet do not generally use tote bags. Women use tote bags but generally do not enjoy looking at photoshopped scantily clad supermodels. So who on earth is this "deal" being marketed to?

I think I have the answer and it depresses me. Victoria's Secret is targeting women who are so insecure that they must wear on their arm a desperate bid for male attention. They want the men to look but don't trust themselves to turn the heads. It's genius really, because what is an insecure woman desperate for male attention, no matter how cheap the trick, to do? Why, head into the shop and buy up armloads of things to nip and tuck, push up and hold in, and of course - sexify! That the stuff is pricey (seriously, there's so little fabric that if you went by the price per ounce it would probably be worth more than gold) is of little regard when it comes down to making yourself feel better. Moral: retail therapy is a short-lived high but credit card debt is forever!

Now don't get me wrong, a well-fitting bra can do wonders for a girl's self esteem. (Quick check! Men, avert your eyes. Women, look down. Do your pointer sisters line up with your elbows? That would be anatomically incorrect. Seek help of the lift and separate variety immediately. Bonus: it will make you look thinner instantly!) In fact, I'm wearing one of Victoria's little secrets right now. But if it weren't for the necessity of the trial by fire, er, fitting room, I would order all my bras online because walking into that store is one of the surest ways I've found to feel like total crap in ten seconds or less.

And now they want me to take that crappy feeling with me everywhere I go via a tote bag? Oh, you need change for a five? Hold on, I've got ones right here in my... huh, look at those perky bosoms. And that flat stomach. Didn't that one just have a baby like 3 months ago? Where are her stretch marks?! How come I don't bounce back that fast? Shouldn't all of her hair be falling out right about now? Is she wearing a wig? Wait... what did you need again? I'm sorry I can't help you, I have to go buy some diet pills now. But hey, at least that hot guy walking by checked me out! Total double take!! Or maybe he was just looking at my bag. Huh. Wait - did I just say "bosoms"? Add wrinkle cream to the list.

Bag Number Two:

It's a humanitarian aid kit. Tonight about 30 women from my neighborhood gathered at my church to assemble various kits to be shipped around the world to aid the war- and poverty-stricken. Some of us put together school bags with rudimentary educational supplies for children who often walk miles to get to a one-room school and subsist on one meal a day. Others made newborn kits so that infants and laboring mothers would have basic sterile birthing tools and a warm outfit to take the baby home in. Still others of us stitched blankets designed to be soft and warm for kids stranded in hard, cold refugee camps. Myself, I helped sew mittens and baby booties to protect little fingers and toes.

As we worked, we chatted and laughed. We ate tres leches cake. We learned some basic first aid. And we all got a free gift. But it wasn't a tote bag. It was something much better - a deep feeling of love and respect. For each other. For humanity. For ourselves, even. My thighs may have cellulite but my fingers cut out 20 pairs of mittens. My hips may be tight in my jeans but my hands folded yards of soft fleece for blankies (and silently blessed all the babies they would wrap.) My stomach may be flabby but the children that made it so also made my heart so big that I have the capacity - nay, the duty - to love every other mother's children.

There is no foundation garment, no self-help book, no cream, no powder, no thing, that could make me feel as good about myself as holding that small bag in that small meeting in that small church in my small city did. I may be small but my heart is so very big.

So, for those of you following along with this month's challenge, I encourage you to include a service goal on your "perfect" list if you haven't already. (Also, note that perfect is in quotes. We're not striving to be perfect in everything all the time - that's just crazy making - but rather to be perfect in making a few small changes that will have big effects.) The month has just begun but already I'm thinking that goal to do one act of charity a day will turn out to be the best part of my Experiment.

How are you doing with your goals? In case anyone's keeping track, I lost my mouthwash.

Building the perfect body

Weight Training


Moving past the cardiovascular forms of training, next you come to weight training. Weight training is the type of exercise which will typically have the greatest effect on your long-term metabolic rate, therefore is the one you should really focus on if you hope to control your bodyweight months down the road.

The actual calorie burn during the weight training session itself can vary highly depending on the intensity and the types of exercises you are performing during it, but generally you can expect about five to ten calories per minute.

The more important part of the equation though comes with the after calorie burn. First, since weight training itself is an anaerobic activity, you are going to get the increased metabolic rate in the hours after you are finished, particularly if you're training with intensity and not using very long rest periods (say rest periods of between thirty seconds to one minute).

This will place that session on a similar scale to that of an interval session in terms of boosting the metabolic rate in the hours afterwards.

In addition to that, weight training will help your body generate more lean muscle mass tissue (provided enough calories are consumed), which then increases your basal metabolic rate 24 hours a day.


This is what we really are referring to when we speak about long-term weight maintenance and why weight training is so vital. If you are performing a solid weight training program on a regular basis, you're going to build the larger amounts of muscle mass, which is a primary determinant in basal metabolic rate.

Fight free radicals, reduce stress, and brighten your mood — the all-natural way

Ginseng

What it is: An extract made from the roots of the ginseng plant—a type of medicinal foliage that dates back to prehistoric times.

What it does: Calms frayed nerves. Experts call ginseng an adaptogen, meaning it may help increase your body's resistance to stress. "If I had to recommend just one supplement, ginseng would be it.

Ginkgo Biloba

What it is: A concentrated powder made from the ginkgo tree's leaves.

What it does: Many guys on antidepressants experience, um, unforeseen side effects? You know, in bed? Ginkgo can help by improving circulation, which could also mean better short-term memory thanks to increased blood flow to the brain.

St. John's Wort

What it is: A yellow flowered plant first used medicinally in ancient Greece; buy it in capsules, teas, or liquid extract.

What it does: "St. John's Wort is mostly used to treat mild to moderate depression. If you're bummed because you just broke up with your girlfriend, feel free to give it a shot. It may pick you up.

Grape Seed Extract

What it is: Just what it says—an extract from the seeds needed to grow a grapevine.

What it does: Its antioxidant properties fight free radicals, compounds that pop up when you smoke or drink too much. "If people are exposed to a lot of toxins, an antioxidant may help counteract their damage.

Spirulina

What it is: A type of algae that comes packed with chlorophyll, vitamins, minerals, and protein.

What it does: Think of spirulina as a produce replacement, giving you the nutrients from fresh greens without a salad bar. "If you're not getting five servings of fruits and veggies, "spirulina could be a good substitute."

How to Find Your Happy Weight

Much has been written about finding your healthy weight but in recent years, some of the focus - especially in LadyMag Land - has shifted to finding your "happy weight." I'm assuming that by happy weight, they are talking about a weight at which you would be both comfortable in your own skin and also healthy. And I can see that numerical Shangri-La actually existing. After all, don't we all have a weight we feel best at?

The other night, Gym Buddy Megan sent Gym Buddy Allison and I the Self Magazine Happy Weight Calculator, asking us what we thought of our prescribed healthy weight. This amused me mightily. (On the "Friends" scale, I would put it as funnier than the episode where Monica goes to Bermuda and her hair grows to gargantuan proportions but not quite as funny as when Joey puts on all of Chandler's clothing. And of course nothing beats Ross singing "Baby Got Back" to soothe baby Emma. But I digress.) I was giggling for two reasons:

1. The first thing you will notice about the Happy Weight Calculator is that is says in big bold letters NOT FOR USE BY PREGNANT WOMEN. Megan, as you will recall, is in her 3rd trimester. Gym Buddy Allison is also pregnant. That leaves, um, me as the only person who is actually allowed a happy weight at this point in time. And we all know I'm crazy.

2. Where does anyone get off telling me what my happy weight should be? Isn't the very word "happy" subjective? Shouldn't a health-loving girl be allowed to decide her own happy weight? Given the above requirements, I'm guessing that if women were really honest, our happy weights would vary widely from girl to girl. I mean everyone from Kim Kardashian to Kate Moss to Scarlett Johansson and Beth Ditto seem happy and healthy at their widely differing weights. Notable exceptions would include people with eating disorders who are obviously unhealthy and also, in my experience, pretty darn miserable.

What Makes a Weight Happy?
So what criteria does Self Mag use to determine a woman's happy weight?

1. Height. Okay, whatever. Every weight tool uses height. Taller people get to eat more cheeseburgers, it's a law of nature.

2. Frame size as determined by your wrist measurement. This is an interesting one to me. Bigger bones theoretically mean you weigh more, right? I suppose that is true. But is wrist size an accurate measurement of frame size? Gym Buddy Megan said she measured at a "small" but from personal experience would put herself as a "medium." As a sad sidenote, this study discovered that frame size - the one thing you absolutely cannot change by dieting - was the #1 predictor of body dissatisfaction and dieting tendencies among young girls.

3. Obese siblings or parents. This was included, I assume, to make some accounting for genetic weight variables as well as patterns learned in one's family of origin. In non-science speak, they're essentially saying that apple trees don't grow carrots.

4. Age. Sigh. People's weight usually increases as they age. Although this can be ameliorated by watching your diet and making sure to exercise.

5. Children. The Self question actually reads "Do you have children?" Notice that it doesn't say "Did you birth children?" Studies have shown that mothers gain weight when they get a new child whether said baby actually surfs the placental wave or finds its way cribside via other means. Of course pregnancy adds a degree of difficulty thanks to the associated weight gain. I do wonder about the inclusion of this factor though. For me, the weight I am most happy at didn't change when I started popping tots out. To really feel like "me", I need to get back to my pre-preg weight. But then perhaps I just have unrealistic expectations?

6. Exercise frequency. Cardio and weight training are lumped together in this factor, with emphasis on the number of workouts rather than type or intensity. It's not ideal but it's better than not including it, I suppose. I would have preferred to see this factor broken down further.

7. Recent smoking cessastion. Having never smoked in my life, I can only assume that people gain weight when they quit smoking as nicotine is a known appetite suppressant (oops! I think I just spilled the real "secret to Hollywood weight loss"!)

8. Treats. Seriously? Part of your happy weight (about a pound, I discovered) is accounted for by whether or not you occassionally allow yourself a treat. It doesn't read "Do you eat sugar every day?" but rather "Do you allow yourself a treat now and then?" Who doesn't do this? Teri Hatcher and Nicolette Sheriden come to mind as possibilities but we all saw where that got them. There's a wide range of options between "now" and "then." I think this question is ridiculous.

(Side note: Men are apparently not allowed to have a happy weight as the calculator makes no allowance for gender. I can't decide if this is dissappointing or encouraging. Consider yourselves freed, men.)

My Happy Weight
According the Self calculator my "happy" weight is about 10 pounds higher than my panic weight and about 20 pounds higher than my personal feel-good weight (which, incidentally, is still a healthy BMI for those of you wondering if it is my ED voices typing this out). I would definitely not be happy at their prescribed weight. In fact - and I'm not trying to tempt fate here - but I can pretty much guarantee I'd be so miserable at that weight that I would employ drastic (read: unsafe) measures to get it back down.

But, let's not forget, I have issues.

I think what this calculator is trying to accomplish is to manage your expectations for what your weight realistically should be. And that, I think, is quite a worthy goal. There is only frustration to be found in striving to achieve a goal your body is not made for (again, see the poor girls from the frame size study). I applaud Self for taking other factors besides just height into account. However, I don't think this calculator necessarily accomplishes that purpose. First I think they are missing some critical factors like ethnicity, chronic illnesses, area of the country and/or world you live in, and hormones among other things. But the real problem for me is that rather than calling it what it is - a reasonable weight expectation tool - they instead promise the ever-elusive happiness in a number.

What did you think of this quiz? Did the number match up with your own happy weight? Do you think it's a helpful tool or just one more way for us to drive ourselves nuts?

March's Great Fitness Experiment: Perfection

Perfect wedding party!

The problem with doing all my Experiments on the cheap - because seriously sweat is free, so getting it on should be too - is that when someone bails on me at the last minute I can't hardly be mad at them because it's not like I was paying them in the first place. March's Great Fitness Experiment was supposed to be boxing, as per the request of at least six of you readers, but the gym buddy who was going to be the Clint Eastwood to our Hillary Swank (did I get that right? I haven't seen the movie but I know she dies at the end. Which I don't plan on doing. Anyhow.), well, he flaked. As of last night. And you know I still love him. But I'm not letting him drive the armored truck next time I get asked to transport gold bars to the vault either.

This left me with two backup options. And you'll see why they only made the backup list once you read what they are:

1. The Perfection Challenge. Oprah.com recently featured a woman who challenged herself to one month of "perfect" living. This meant that she would "embrace every health dictate we all know we should follow but blithely ignore." She wondered, "Would I feel rejuvenated, young? Or just like the butt of that old joke: "Eating healthy doesn't make you live longer...it just feels that way?" So not only do you cut out sugar, saturated fat and white flour but you also wear sunscreen and floss and say grateful things every day. Basically, you're perfect.

2. One Month of Celebrity Workouts. This came to me as one of those press releases that asks me to do something for them but offers nothing in return - you know, my favorite kind. But who can resist a list of workouts named things like "Alicia Keys' butt workout!" and "Sarah Chalke's Xflowsion workout!"? I mean, just having "butt" and "xflowsion" in the same sentence makes me giggle like a schoolgirl. Imagine what a whole month of this would do? And hey, maybe if I can do Sarah's workout, I can learn her "stay-slim secrets" (hint: it has to do with having freakishly long toes and being able to sign her name sans hands.)

Quite the conundrum.

This is the state in which Gym Buddy Krista found me on facebook procrastinating the decision by playing endless rounds of Scramble (i.e. Boggle). So I asked her which she would prefer. She said she needed a diet as she is getting very frustrated with the extra poundage from her last child. And therefore, number 1 was the winner!

After discussing the matter however, we thoroughly depressed ourselves with all this talk about perfection and so forth. We decided that one month of doing everything right was too daunting so we settled on week instead. After one week, we'd reassess and go from there. So here's how to play along at home - first, scroll back up and read the linked article. Everything will make more sense afterward. Next, come up with a list of rules for your idea of perfect living. This will vary from person to person as we all have different health goals. I'm listing my top ten here. Feel free to shout out some of yours in the comments!

Perfect childproofing!

Charlotte's Path to Perfection
1. Cut out the white stuff (i.e. white flour, sugar - and yes that means brown too, refined crap).
2. Eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day.
3. Eat a vegetable with every meal.
4. Write in my gratitude journal every night.
5. Meditate & pray every morning.
6. Use mouthwash. (They took away my floss in the asylum. Kidding. I already floss every day.)
7. Exercise 6 days a week. Strength train 3 days, cardio 5.
8. Practice my karate kata every day.
9. Do a random act of kindess every day.
10. Get 8 hours of sleep a night.
And... for the most difficult (but probably most important) one:
11. Not say anything mean about myself, or to myself (in my head included, yes I talk to myself).

Perfect marketing plan!

So it's up to you guys what you want to do. If celebrities are your idea of perfection and you don't mind a dose of Fitness Magazine inanity, then totally go for the celeb workouts. If nothing else you'll get some variety! If you choose to take the One Week Perfection challenge, then come up with your list of goals - at least pick one - and WRITE IT DOWN. If you don't write it down then how will you ever get to be perfect? Everyone knows perfect people write stuff down.

Let me know your decision in the poll below:

poll by twiigs.com

PS> For all of you who suggested swimming, it's on my list. But not until the weather gets warm enough that I am assured my hair will not freeze and then shatter into a million tiny shards upon exiting the gym. I'll do a lot of things for a good fitness Experiment but I will not bald myself.

The perfect shirt!