Blond Doll Takes Over the World!

Normal women are used to being made to feel inferior by fashion mags but now even the likes of First ladies Michelle Obama and Carla Bruni are getting the makeover treatment from the Japanese edition of Bazaar. So how does one improve upon two women already known for being gorgeous with an impeccable sense of style? You make them into a blond doll. Literally.

In this bizarre piece (See what I did there? I'm awesome.), a big-eyed blond-haired couture-dressed doll takes the first ladies' places in several iconic photographs. If this spread had come out in any of the western editions of this magazine, cries of racism would abound. Yet the Japanese did this. And they Stepford-ized Carla Bruni and Jacqueline Kennedy as well as Ms. Obama. While the replacement doll does look vaguely manga, she's certainly not Asian. All of which leaves me with... no explanation. Welcome to the never-good-enough club, ladies!

If I were Michelle Obama, I'd be very very disturbed by this one. And not the least because that doll's outfit is clearly upstaging President Obama. Has a first lady ever done puff-sleeved animal print at a press conference?

Even J.F.K. looks like he's laughing at this chick. But maybe that's just because if you put her on the same step as him, she'd tower over him in height.

That there is threatening to be plastic cleavage in an amount not seen since Debbie Did Washington. Will no one think of the children?! (Well, not her of course - she can't even look at the children. Or maybe she just doesn't bend that way.)

At last, I get it! You can't see her reflection in the mirror! Ergo, Barbie's a vampire succubus who accomplished a soulless domination of world politics! It's all a subtle metaphor for the decline in international relations!! Or maybe it's just lazy photoshopping.

You got a better theory?