This Week: We Laughed, We Cried, We Bump-Watched

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You guys are smarter than I am. And it is a shame that so many of your passionate, insightful, interesting and provoking thoughts get buried in the comments. Why should I get to do all the talking? (Oh right, it's my blog. I win!) Anyhow, I wanted to highlight some of my favorite comments from this past week as you guys managed, as you often do, to say it better.

While I rambled on about wedding gowns and cysts, in my Why I'm Glad I'm Not In Show Business Post, secret-santa extraordinaire Ted C Williams cut right to the heart of the matter and brought up an interesting question about celebrities' right to privacy (and our right to not have to watch when they put beer and a pregnancy test in the same shopping cart.)

Amen to the call for the end of ridiculous tabloid garbage! It's amazing that anytime a celebrity (or even pseudo-celebrities, if you count how much ink is wasted on reality stars and the cast of The Hills) is photographed turning their waist and it may create a bump-looking form in their tummy region, they're automatically pregnant!

What also creeps me out about the tabloid mags is the very thin line between journalism and stalking. I feel creepy just seeing those magazines in the grocery check-out lines, because you know those photos were taken without their permission and they are usually taken during times that those who are being photographed think are their private moments in their lives. I'm especially creeped out when their is the rush to be the first to get photos of a newborn child or any other photographs of the children of celebrities.

Where does this kind of journalism cross the line from being protected by free speech and free press to being stalking and abusive? Also, is there truly a demand for this kind of filth journalism, or have we just grown accustom to it simply because we've been forced-fed it too long?

My post, The Not-Rape Epidemic, was a doozy. Not only was it hard for me to write but hard for many of you to read. But a lot of you took a risk and commented anyhow in one of the most beautiful outpourings of support I have witnessed in the blogiverse. From the first comment (hi, Cricket!) to the last (Oh, you of the three names Emma Giles Powell!) you all said exactly what I needed to hear. And nobody even commented on me overplaying the victim card! Which, in retrospect, I totally thought that I did. And which I was sure someone would call me on. So I am deeply grateful to every one of you - for your support, your kindess and for trusting me with your stories. Truly, I got teary.

Rather than taking me to task for wallowing, Sensei Don wrote a comment both informative and compassionate in which he reminded us to look to our innate gifts and instincts to protect ourselves (and no mention of any knees to the groin, even!):

I have a few comments. First, each of the incidents you describe is by definition an assault and I personally consider each of them to be offensive attacks. By law any action or words directed at someone that would cause a "reasonable person" to perceive the impending use of violence against them is an assault. I don't call it "Not Rape" I call it "assault."

Second, I have come to trust the gut insticts of most women. This is because my wife, sister and mother all seem to have accurate intuition ("scary" accurate when it comes to reading me). It's a shame most women seem to disregard their own intuition so often - particularly when it comes to men. Most of my life I have been annoyed at the way most women believe the lies men tell them when I know their intuition is sounding alarms. You are right to see these for what they were - attacks - and you are right to defend yourself from them now and forever.

Third, I think it's important to recognize that self-defense is much more than a set of physical skills. Unfortunately, since it is the easiest to teach, most courses focus solely on the physical part and some ego-crazed instructors will go out of their way to prove to you that they are "better" at it than their students. You must recognize that while many others may possess greater physical strength and skill, fights can be won or lost based on intelect and emotion. Everyone has vulnerabilities. As your story and the many others referenced show, many of these men while strong physically are lacking in some other areas. They can be called "weak" in many contexts and this is not just a rhetorical statement. Those weaknesses can be leveraged to facilitate an escape or their defeat (reference your Life Lesson from Karate "when someone pushes you, pull them in"). Your self-defense tactics should leverage your strengths and take advantage of your opponents' weaknesses.

In regards to my January's Great Fitness Experiment: The Lose 10 lbs Workout, many of you had funny things to say in regards to magazine workouts:

Tricia solves the calorie burn conundrum for me, "I think that the caloric burn that ads tell you assume that you do said activity with a masively heavy weight vest on." Why didn't I think of that? Must be in the small print somewhere! SeaBreeze probably didn't realize the innate humor in her comment, "I adore you and your blog. Does this mean you won't be working out 14hrs a week? Is that going to create challenges based on your coping methods?" I laughed all the way to my therapist's office. Who reminded me that I am only supposed to be working out 10 hours a week. Which is what I will try to stick to. But of course I have all that anxiety... that post is coming next week - thanks for keeping me honest, girl! (And yes, no CrossFit for January Seabreeze.)

Several of you echoed Emma Giles Powell in questioning the "diet" part of the workout.

The Lose 10 Pounds DIET? Um, I agree that losing weight is mostly about diet, but I see a bunch of exercise in there. Maybe I'm an idiot: maybe they finally found a way you really can out-exercise a bad diet. But then it would have to read "Shape Magazine Workout SCAMS" rather than "Scans".

For the record, what they recommend for the diet is to slash 500 calories a day. That's it. No biggie, right?

Lastly, in response to Life Lessons I Learned From Karate, an interesting point from Hanlie. She writes, "I have been wanting to Taekwondo ever since a colleague of mine started a few years ago, but I'm just too fat and unfit. Something to keep in mind as I get fitter and thinner this year..." Sensei Don says that you can start martial arts at any fitness level/body type. So don't put off those long-desired Tae Kwan Do lessons, Hanlie! Get out there and do your thing and I bet you'll find that it helps you with your goal of getting fitter. Plus, I'm telling you, the hitting stuff part is really really fun. Just remember to let me know how it goes!

Although my favorite part was the rest of her comment: "You never fail to entertain me! And you're wonderful on video." Aw, mom! You don't have to use a pseudonym;)

So tell me - What do you think about the paparrazi stalking celebs? Have you ever been saved by listening to your instincts? Anyone else try the new workout yet (and have problems sitting down to pee like me)?

Thanks for making this week such a great one! You guys are what makes doing this so much fun. I love you!!