When Makeovers Go Bad

Orange Velvet Suit Man at the Twin's baseball game the other night: I salute you. Not many people would go to a ball game decked head to toe in a bright orange velvet zoot suit with matching orange fedora. I love that about you! And I don't even know you! Ignore the frat boys calling you "pimp", revel in the gawkers - you are awesome and I hope you never change.

My love for the Orange Velvet Suit Man might stem from the fact that I too will take any occasion to dress up - I myself wore a kicky little dress and strappy sandals to the game (yes, I was cold and no I still don't regret it although I did see a blinged out jersey that I would totally wear if I ever go to another game, which I probably won't because, well, baseball is pencil-in-the-eyeball boring). Frankly, there are not enough orange velvet suits in the world.

A pet peeve I've long had is when people - usually stylists from a TV show or magazine - makeover a person with a very distinctive personal style to make them look more in line with popular culture's definition of good looking. I call it the "Average Makeunder." Sure they look more like everyone else but often they look nothing like themselves. I know Stacey and Clinton mean well but I think a makeover is only warranted in the cases where the person themselves feels badly about the way they look and they want to make a change. I hate it when people are forced or tricked into going on those makeover shows. Who cares if they're still wearing their beloved Two Wolves Howling at the Moon cross-stitched sweatshirt? Eventually it'll come back in style!

I never thought I'd have strong feelings about The Jersey Shore boys - they created the stereotype of douchebag, after all - but after I saw what happened to them when GQ got a hold of them... well, it's bad people. To see pics and read my take on their Average Makeunder, check out my post on Huffington Post.

How do you feel about quirky dressers? Do you love a character or do you think costumes should be reserved for major holidays and/or parades? How do you feel about the myriad of makeover shows on tv now? Have you ever wanted a makeover?

The top Post workout drink!

Featured Model: Virginia's own- Pham "Keepittite04"


Drink A Pint of Chocolate milk & Get Ripped!


Could chocolate milk be the new cheaper alternative to all of the expensive protein shakes on the market? I've been coming across it a lot lately and found out why it may do the job just as well if not better.

Protein shakes are very popular, especially among people who lift weights. Protein aids in the recover of the muscles because when we lift weights, we are basically causing rips/tears in the muscles. When they repair, they grow bigger. Protein helps to speed up the muscle recovery. At least that is what I get from reading about it.

Benefits of Chocolate Milk as a Recovery Drink

* Milk's mix of high-quality protein and carbohydrates can help refuel exhausted muscles.
* Research suggests it may reduce exercise-induced muscle damage.
* Helps reduce lactic acid levels in the blood.
* Milk also provides fluids for rehydration and minerals like calcium, potassium and magnesium that recreational exercisers and elite athletes alike need to replace after strenuous activity.

It seems like a good alternative if you want to save money and have no preference in your sport drinks.

HOWEVER......

Milk contains many good nutrients like protein, calcium and other minerals. Milk contains two types of protein ie: casein(80%) and whey(20%). We get those whey protein powders from processing of milk & cheese, whey is extracted and collected. The difference in casein and whey is casein protein is slowly digestible whereas whey protein digests faster, perfect for before and after training.

After a strenuous workout, your muscles need a fast recovery drink and whey is highly favored due to its fast absorption into our digestive system and its release of amino acids in the muscle cells for fast repair of muscle fibers and growth of muscle tissues.

Milk is a good drink but I think after a workout, it might not represent the best kind of recovery drink, but might still help a bit because it still contains some whey protein.

Before bedtime, when your body will be without nutrients for several long hours, casein protein is recommended. milk is the better drink choice compared to a whey protein shake. The slow release of casein proteins from milk into the digestive system will ensure your body does not get into muscle catabolism.

Creatine For Real Results!

I don’t usually like to write whole articles about supplements because I believe diet and training to be far more important than any combination of supplements. However there are a few supplements that work, creatine being the most notable of all of them.

It is the best selling supplement ever, period. Creatine sales totaled over 100 million dollars in last year alone! These sales were to everyone from middle scholars to the elderly. With this recent rush of creatine madness there has also been a wave of misinformation. I cannot believe the things I hear people say about creatine’s effectiveness, about how it works, and about it’s safety. There is some information floating around out there that is just untrue, well never fear, I am here to combat misinformation so here it goes.
What is it?

Creatine is a combination of three different amino acids, glycine, arginine, and methionine. That’s it, it is nothing more than a combination of amino acids. I don’t know how many people I hear talk about creatine and call it a steroid! I almost flip my lid when I hear it. Steroid? If that were the case it there would be a lot more 200+ pound people out there. No creatine is not a steroid, it is totally different and works in a different manner.

Creatine is also produced by the body and found in high protein sources of meat such as fish and red meat. It is NOT a lab synthesized compound, it is natural.

How Does it Work?

After creatine enters the body (or after it is produced by the body) it firsts binds with a phosphate molecule to form Creatine phosphate. Now here is where I’m going to lay a bit of biochemistry on you so I’ll do my best to keep it simple. ATP (Adenine Tri-Phosphate) IS the body’s energy source. When your body oxidizes carbs, protein, or fat it is doing this process in order to produce ATP. ATP is responsible for driving almost every body process there is. Hell ATP is even involved in creating ATP. ATP works like this… Energy is needed to drive bodily process. ATP provides this energy by hydrolyzing a phosphate group.
The Process

When a phosphate group is hydrolyzed, energy in the form of heat is given off and this energy is used to drive whatever process is being performed, for example muscle contraction. Because one phosphate has been lost from the ATP it is now called ADP (adenine Di-phosphate). The reaction is as follows ATP (hydrolysis)=ADP + Energy. Now you have free ADP as a product from the ATP hydrolysis. ADP is pretty much useless in the body unless it is converted back into ATP. Now this is where creatine comes into play. The phosphate bound creatine donates it’s phosphate group to the ADP to re-form ATP! I assume you see where this is going now.

By allowing you to return ADP to ATP creatine will increase your ATP stores, thus allowing you to train harder and longer.Creatine is a combination of three different amino acids, glycine, arginine, and methionine.

Fuel Source

Another benefit of creatine is that creatine itself is a fuel source. In fact your body’s first choice of energy when performing anaerobic activity (such as weightlifting) is your creatine phosphate stores. By supplementing with creatine phosphate you will increase these stores, thus giving you more energy for your workouts. There is another anabolic property that creatine holds and this is it’s ability to hydrate muscle cells. When muscle cells are hydrated a few things happen. The most notable being an increase in protein synthesis. The second being an increase of ions into the cell. Since the cell is holding more water, it can also hold more ions since the ions will follow water into the cell in order to keep the concentration the same.

When more ions are present in muscle cells (the most important being nitrogen) muscle protein synthesis also increases.

How Safe is Creatine?

Since creatine has only been recently introduced to the market it is hard to determine whether or not there will be long term health effects from it’s use. However it must be noted that to date there is not one, I repeat not one reputable study that shows creatine has any dangerous side-effects. After eight years with no severe side effects I believe that one can begin to assume that creatine is relatively safe.

I find it funny that most people I meet that are concerned about creatine’s safety are also people who like to go out and drink and smoke on weekends… try to find the irony in that.

Is it Necessary to Load on Creatine?

No it is not necessary to load but it can help you see results faster. You see to get the full benefit of creating you must saturate your muscle cells with it. Using a small dose (5g), this will take up to thirty days depending on the individual’s lean body mass.

However using a loading dosage of 15-25g per day for 5 days, one can quickly saturate the muscle cells in this time period and then use a maintenance dosage (3-5g) for the remainder of their time taking creatine.

Is it Necessary to Cycle Creatine?

Once again it is not necessary to do so but it can help. Your body has an internal equilibrium which you can swing in your favor for a duration of time, but over time that equilibrium will eventually swing back. Meaning taking excess creatine for a short period of time (4-8 weeks) may temporarily increase your creatine phosphate stores but after awhile your body’s feedback mechanisms will likely place some time of control on creatine phosphate storage to bring the levels back down to normal. This mechanism may be to decrease your body’s own production of creatine or to downgrade the number receptors that admit creatine into the cell. Taking time off from creatine can help bring your body’s equilibrium back into a state where in taking excess creatine will be beneficial again.

I would like to make clear at this point that I know of no studies to back this theory up with, it could be right or wrong, I am just merely applying my knowledge of biochemistry to a frequently asked question to which there is no good answer to yet.

What is the Best Time to Take Creatine?

There has been much discussion on this but I believe taking creatine post workout is the most beneficial time for several reasons.

1. Insulin helps drive more creatine into muscle cells, if you are a smart bodybuilder then in your post workout meal you should be eating foods that help spike your insulin, if this is the case, then taking creatine with this meal will help it’s uptake into muscle cells.
2. The body absorbs many nutrients better after a workout.
3. Creatine will help refuel your body’s low creatine phosphate stores.

Will Taking Creatine Before a Workout Give Me More Energy?

No, not exactly. Once again for creatine to work your muscle cells must be saturated with it. This takes at least a week to do, so doing it once before a workout will not make a difference. Now if your cells are already saturated with creatine then it will still not make a difference if you take it before you workout. Your body must process it first and that takes time. The creatine your body will use in the upcoming workout will come from the creatine phosphate stores already in the cells, not from the creatine you just ingested.
Does Liquid Creatine Work?

Most certainly not. Creatine degrades over time in water into it’s waste product creatinine which is useless in the body and will simply be excreted. Companies who claim that they have stabilized creatine in a liquid are flat out lying to you. One of these companies (I believe Muscle Marketing USA) had a lab assay done on their liquid creatine and the assay found that it only contained 15% of the creatine on the label claim. I would like to further de-credify these companies by noting that one of the reasons they claim their product is so good is because their creatine does not make your retain water.

WHAT? As I have stated earlier, this is one of the biggest benefits of creatine, this clearly shows their eagerness to prey upon the ignorance of the public.

What is the Best Type of Creatine?

Well if you want the most bang for your buck do not buy the creatine transports! These are enormously overpriced and you can make them yourself at half the price by buying your own dextrose online! A little tip… a mix of 50g whey protein and 50g dextrose has been shown to elicit the same insulin spike as a serving of Cell-Tech, and it is much cheaper I might add.

Does Caffeine Help or Hinder Weight Loss?

Photo Credit: Fail Blog

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that diet pills don't work. If they did, we'd all look like Carmen Electra and spend our nights partying away with the Zantrex dancers. (Not to be confused with the Valtrex dancers - that kind of party is a straight shot to the Jerry Springer Show.) And yet they sell. So who's buying? We are, apparently.

I hate the diet pill ads and yet I'm mesmerized by them. The first time through a mag, I read it for the articles but the second time - I'm all about the advertising and I admit, these hold my attention long enough to get hemorrhoids. What is so compelling about them? The lure of quick, easy weight loss. The obvious and marked change in the before-and-after shots. The (fake, probably) testimonials. The stupid doctor. And yet, it's our modern day fairy tale. These Cinderellas went from rags to riches - beauty is the new money, honey - all with one little magic pill. That's even easier than a glass slipper! Cheaper too.

I remember one day in GNC staring at the pretty displays of diet pills when a salesman sidled up to me, "Would you pay $80 a month to be thin the rest of your life?" Honestly? I absolutely would. In fact, most people would probably pay much more than that - it's become that important to us. The trick, of course, is if they actually work. When I pointed out to him that they are just glorified caffeine pills, he huffed, "everybody knows that caffeine is the best legal weight loss supplement." I suppose he was deferring to cocaine on principle.

But is it?

Judging by the sheer number of photos of celebrities carrying coffee cups, it seems like there must be some truth to it. After all, when was the last time you saw an Olsen twin (or Lindsey or Britney) photographed without a Starbucks cup molded into her twee little hand? And caffeine in some form or another is the number one ingredient in almost every single weight-loss supplement on the market, often in heart-fibrillatingly massive doses. Even Biggest Loser trainer Jillian Michaels recommends a caffeine/white willow bark/aspirin cocktail in her book Making the Cut. Hollywood's opinion is clear.

What the Research Says
There are many studies that show that caffeine does increase metabolism by upping your heart rate causing a thermogenic effect (as is often touted in screaming letters on diet pill packaging) and increased calorie burn. Research has also indicated that it is a mild appetite suppressant. In addition, it has also been found that a dose of caffeine before your workout can help you work up to 30% harder without upping your rate of perceived exertion thereby allowing you to burn more calories.

The problem is that none of these effects have translated into weight loss. The Mayo Clinic debunks the first two points by saying that while caffeine does suppress the appetite and up metabolism, it doesn't do it to a significant degree and the effects don't last long enough to make a difference in a person's weight. Although they add the caveat that caffeine will produce a temporary decrease in weight due to its diuretic properties.

As for the last point regarding your workout, this is a documented effect. But here's the kicker: it only works if your body is not already used to caffeine. If you never have the stuff and then slam an energy drink before a big race it can definitely increase your performance. In fact, I know many a runner who swears by this. (Be careful if you try this one out though as caffeine often has the added bonus of loosening one's bowels.) But the effect is lost if your body is already acclimated to that level of caffeine. In addition, the extra work exerted during your race causes increased hunger afterward. So while you may reap some performance gains, they probably won't translate to weight loss.

But not only does caffeine use not correlate with weight loss, it is actually linked to weight gain. Donna Sundblad of the Love To Know blog writes:

Caffeine affects cravings for food because it raises the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol raises heart rate, blood pressure and tells your body to increase its energy stores. This results in the body craving sweets. So if you're wondering why you snacked on cookies in the afternoon, it could have something to do with that coffee you drank with breakfast.

In addition to increasing cravings for sweets, raised cortisol levels have been linked to increased storage of abdominal fat, a lower immune system and higher blood pressure among other things. Caffeine has also been linked to increased insulin resistance, the scary precursor to diabetes, not to mention the lesser side effects of jitteriness, anxiety, heart palpitations and fragmented thinking.

Conclusions
Not everyone reacts to caffeine the same way. Even amongst the Gym Buddies, there are large discrepencies. I am super sensitive to caffeine and feel like I'm having a heart attack, a panic attack and diarrhea all at once but Gym Buddy Allison loves her caffeine pills to help her power through her workouts. Gym Buddy Krista seems to have built her tolerance up so high with Mountain Dew that even when she took 3 of Allison's pills, it didn't faze her a bit. It all depends on your level of sensitivity to caffeine, what dose you take and how often, and for what purpose you are taking it. If you just like your cup of joe in the morning or use it as your secret weapon in that sprint triathlon you are competing in, then more power to you. Just don't count on it to help you lose weight. And, also, don't count on the GNC salespeople to know anything.

What are your experiences with caffeine? Hate the stuff? Can't live without it? And what's your preferred form of delivery?

Women with muscular calves 5

Where is the Line Between Your Weight and Yourself?

Girl Disappearing by Curly Tops

Perfectly round. A circular platform encircled by a raised bar. Like a stage! The kind that lights up underneath and lifts the performer above the crowd as mist billows beneath! And indeed I am being watched. But there is no applause and I am given no chance for a monologue. Perhaps, I think - silently, to myself - it reminds me less of a stage and more of a teleportation device. Closing my eyes I wait for a beam of light to descend and obliterate the particles of my mortal shell, to reduce me, no more no less, to the same matter that permeates the universe. No light comes. My atoms stay rigidly arranged, the faulty DNA that is Broken Me still intact, still informing.

I wish it were anything but what it actually is: a scale.

The brushed steel platform on which I stand, obediently thinking defiant thoughts, does not look like any scale I am used to. Certainly it doesn't resemble either of the torture devices to which I have arranged my bathroom, and my life, around. (Two: one to check the other. Accuracy is paramount.) This is an industrial scale, large enough to weigh an elephant but stark enough to weigh an anorectic. Even if she is too weak to hold herself up and must lean on the circular rail for support. But not comfort. No scale has ever been comforting. The very idea of weighing and measuring a human being is not so they can be loved but so they can be compared.

I know quite well what I am being compared to. The problem is that I don't know how I measure up. The digital display that shows the all-important numbers is across the room. Across the room! And turned away so only the nutritionist can read it. Upon first entering the eating disorder clinic, I had protested vehemently at this weighing ritual. "But I'm at a healthy weight!" And then, "But I'm not anorexic! I'm here for compulsive exercise and orthorexia!" Then finally, "My shoes (large wedged heels) and my coat (thick for winter) are so heavy!" All of these things were quite true.

"It doesn't matter. This is just to get a baseline. All patients are weighed at every appointment. Please step on the scale."

"But I'm not even trying to lose weight!!" My final plea. This, incidentally, was not true.

The nutritionist didn't blink. "We can't continue until you are weighed."

There was a standoff. I held out for a half hour, picking my nails, studying the pastel 80's artwork, staring blatantly at my nutritionist - a woman so thin that she must always get asked if she has an eating disorder, if she is a size 0, if she has any tips . Of course these things are filtered through the madness of my illness. I can't see anyone in any other light except fat or thin, evil or righteous, rebellious or obedient.

The thing that breaks me is knowing my babysitter can't stay past an hour. White as a sheet, I step on the scale. The silence that had started at our inauspicious beginning continues to blanket the room. I make not a peep as my worth blinks in black and white. She makes not a sound as she writes it down on my chart, her face inscrutable. Surely, I think, she had never seen someone weigh as much as I do. Surely, I think, she is horrified. Surely she thinks I'm faking sickness. It makes me feel so angry and impotent and worthless that the only thing I can think to say when we finally sit down in proper chairs - as if one of us hadn't just subjected the other to an invasive and dehumanizing ritual - in her office is, "My shoes have solid rubber heels, they probably weigh two pounds each."

She nods, unsmiling, "I'll make a note of that on your chart." And she does. Although I do not know whether she notes it under my weight or under the "disordered fixations of patient" column. I reassure myself with the thought that next time I will wear tiny sandals and take my coat off in the waiting room, no matter the fact that it is winter. No matter the fact that I am always, always freezing. Next time, I vow, that number will be less.

"Excuse me," my lips stretch and I show my teeth in what I hope is a smile, "but I didn't catch the number. What was it?"

"I already told you, the number doesn't matter. It's just a baseline for our charts. Something to see if the intervention is working." Her bony chest, visible through her v-neck sweater, rises and falls as she sighs.

Intervention. I bristle at the word. Bristle at the thought that something as intensely personal, as intrinsic to my corporeal self, as my weight is kept from me. It's mine! I want to scream. It's all I have left! I don't want to add.

"Now, since it took so long getting started," she pauses and I stare right back into her hollow-cheeked face, "I won't be able to finish all of the intake questions. But I'd like you to take this and read it before our meeting next week." She slides a bound booklet across the desk to me. It has a clip-art picture of a fruit bowl on the cover. Nutritional Guidelines the title reads. It is tacky and I hate it without opening it.

But then I remember Pam, my beloved therapist, the one who insisted that I go to this meeting, do this intake, finish this outpatient program. I can't face her next week and report yet another week of no progress. Flipping open the booklet, the first page tells me to eat a protein, a grain and a fat at every meal. The nutritionist leans over to point out more clip-art pictures illustrating each of these categories. As if I don't already know every macronutrient, every calorie, every gram, every vitamin, every category that a food could possibly be compartmentalized into by heart. Did you know an apple is a fruit?

My sickness does not make me stupid.

The nutritionist thinks it does. She hands me a list and asks me to circle which foods I will eat. Scanning the everlong list - is every food in the world really on there? Because I am an adventurous eater. At least, I used to be - I draw a heavy X through them all. This will be faster: I scrawl on the bottom "salad, berries, nuts, steel-cut oats and non-starchy vegetables."

"This is what you will eat?"

A lump forms in my throat as I realize that several days ago I struck oatmeal off the list. Grains are bad for you, our primal ancestors didn't eat them, our systems haven't evolved to digest them without inflammation. See? I had to take them off. It was the right thing to do.

"Charlotte?"

I'm not aware that I'm not saying any of this out loud. What I know is this: I am crying. And my babysitter can't stay any longer.

"I'm sorry, I have to go now." I stumble over my too-tall, too-heavy shoes. (How could I have ever thought these made my legs look thinner? Clearly I am huge and no shoes are going to hide that.)

"All right, I'll see you next week?"

"Sure." By the waiting room I have chewed my lip raw. Mothers don't have the luxury of eating disorders. By the elevator I have dried the tears. I can't go back to my children with red rimmed eyes. With problems. With heavy shoes. By the front doors I have recovered myself. I toss the booklet in the garbage can under the cigarette sandbox.

I don't come back.

I prefer my small-scale scales. The ones that don't have the power to transport me to another world. The ones that won't take me apart piece by piece, demanding my faith that it will put me back together in the end.

* Note: I wanted to end the essay here. But I worry that some of you will think that this is my contemporary state of mind. And it isn't. This incident happened several years ago and I have made amazing progress with my disordered eating. The reason I write about this today is to try and describe what it felt like for me. Why the scale still holds such prominence in my life. And because today, for the first time since my baby's birth, I weigh the weight that I did that day (of course the first thing I did when I got home and paid the babysitter was to run upstairs and weigh myself, shoes, coat and everything). Before you worry - do realize that my weight today, totally naked, is what I weighed then fully (overly) clothed. It isn't truly the same but seeing that number brought back this memory. It seemed important to write it down.

Do you have a weight that holds particular importance for you? A number that brings back a particular memory, good or bad? Edited to add: I ask this not to have you fixate on an arbitrary number but to encourage you to challenge the beliefs that you hold about yourself and your weight. You are so much more than a number.

What happens to your body after a weight training set?

The Aftermath of the "set".

After your set, the acidic environment caused by lactic acid is buffered mainly by bicarbonate, thus rapidly diminishing or eliminating pain before your next one. Simultaneously, fat is burned to produce ATP, which donates a phosphate to creatine and restores creatine phosphate levels, giving you quick energy for another set. The spike in lactic acid levels at the end of your set signals your body to release GH, which enhances fat burning and initiates muscle regeneration and growth. Likewise, testosterone levels have risen during the set, which will further aid the process of muscle regeneration and muscle building.

Cellular damage has also caused the muscle to flood with proteins which further break down the damaged structures.

This starts an inflammatory cascade of white blood cells that serve numerous functions, such as the removal of broken-down muscle tissue so that new and stronger tissue can be built up in its place. That process takes a few days to complete; 24 to 48 hours after your workout, if you suffered enough damage, you will likely feel the effects of calcium and prostaglandins, which build up in the muscle fibers, sensitizing nerve cells that signal your brain and thus providing the lingering ache known as delayed onset muscle soreness.

Boost Tactic

Postworkout, consume 40 g of whey protein and 60-100 g of fast-digesting carbs to enhance muscle recovery and blunt DOMS. Taking 5-10 g of glutamine can help increase GH levels. A massage may speed recovery, as can low-intensity activities (such as walking, cycling and swimming).

In Search of a Cape: This Year's Most Ridiculous Halloween Costumes

What are you going to be for Halloween this year? I know, I know we're still more than a month out but I've got the annual Turboween coming up! It may possibly be my most favorite Turbo workout of the year. This year the theme is "Superheroes" and while my house is replete with capes they all kind of smell like pee or have peanut butter stuck to them. Or both. So I'm on the hunt for the perfect Superhero-ine costume* (that will still let me crescent kick and smash heads into my knee.) In addition, the Gym Buddies and I are running in this year's Monster Dash and of course we are dressing up for that too which means we need costumes we can run 10 miles in without chafing.

Beginning my search today, I immediately ran up against the first problem of female costumes: The Slut Factor. The Slut-o-ween phenomenon - the one night of the year when all good girls (and nurses and maids and cops and even feminine hygiene products) go bad - has been well documented. And yet I was still surprised by this year's crop of ever more ridiculous costumes. So here are my Top Ten Halloween Costumes That Should Not Exist:

1. Elmo: This little cutie lives on Sesame Street, is voiced by a man, and whose sole talent consists of playing Jingle Bells over and over on a PlaySkool piano. What part of that screams sex pot?

2. Ditto for Big Bird here. I actually saw this one in the flesh (feathers?) at Target and it is twice as horrifying in real life. And why is this woman so insanely happy when Big Bird is apparently eating her head?

Image Source: Buzzfeed

3. While we're cannabalizing children's shows, how about this Peanuts costume that skipped right over Uncanny Valley to fall straight into Creepy Caldera. But hey, at least they didn't try and sex her up.

Image source: Spirit halloween

4. Ask yourself: What is the least sexy animal out there? A cold fish. Although I am left wondering why the model has no googley eyes on her anywhere.

Image Source: Buzzfeed

5. Mrs. Potato head takes care of that dilemma by placing the eyes right where they should be: on a woman's breasts. Totally removes the age-old male quandary of where to look when addressing females. Win!

Image Source: Buzzfeed

6. This one, creatively titled "Club skirt and top" loses on two counts: First, you can't call it a skirt if you can see crotch and second, the only girls who would be interested in wearing this would be girls who go to clubs and reason would say they wouldn't need to shell out 39.99$ when they already own this in 3 different colors. Also as lame: "lingerie model."

Image Source: Zoogster

7. Back to children's items that have no business being sexy: the blue crayon! (Also available in pink!) What I wouldn't give to have been a fly on the wall for that meeting. "Well team, you know what really gets me turned on? A nice stick of colored wax... yeah." Probably the same kid who sniffed the dry erase markers during recess.

Image source: Spirit halloween

8. This costume wouldn't be entirely ridiculous if it weren't for one fatal flaw: it doesn't come with roller skates. So basically if you wear this, you're just a chick in seasonally inappropriate beach wear. Also, don't real "Sexy Roller Derby Girl"s have much better costumes than this? Juliette Lewis would muscle this girl into a locker and leave her there. I've seen Whip It.

Image Source: Zoogster

9. Optimus Prime is a) A dude b) A robot and c) Transforms into a plane (or a car or something - haven't seen that movie). The only thing this costume transforms is her shin guards... into metal knee highs. Two adolescent male fantasies colliding rarely turns out well.

Image source: Spirit halloween

10. The most ridiculous Halloween costume of 2010 has tobe this "Girl in Skintight Dress" costume. Come on, you're not even trying now! Aren't you at least supposed to put on some mouse ears or something? Slap Franklin D. Roosevelt's visage over your navel and call yourself a dime? At least put on an ankle monitoring bracelet and go as Lindsey Lohan!

Image Source: Zoogster

This is nothing super nor heroic in any permutation of hooker (is it crazy that I'm pretty sure someone's going to challenge that assertion?) so what's a cape-tastic babe to do? Any suggestions for me? Have you ever ran a race in costume? What's the most ridiculous Halloween costume you've seen?

*I am a total Grinch when it comes to Halloween. I hate being scared and I hate gore. So that rules out 90% of adult All Hallow's Eve activities. That leaves me dressing myself up and dressing little kids up. And I love it!

Sergio Martinez Middleweight Champion of the world.

According to Goossen Tutor Promotions, ticket sales for the Nov. 20 middleweight
title fight between Sergio Martinez and Paul Williams are off to a great start.

Tickets went on sale this past Friday and already over $450,000 in tickets have been sold. There are still seats available in the $100, $200, $100 and $50 range.

The fight will take place at the Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, New Jersey and tickets can bee picked up at the box office or via Ticketmaster.

"Paul and Sergio, two of the best fighters in the world today, fighting each other on the Jersey shore is the biggest fight in boxing this year," stated Dan Goossen. "We've always said, give the fans fights they want to see and they'll be there."

The Trick to Tabata Workouts [Bring a Barf Bag]

This is one way to ensure you are running at maximal ability. Not that I recommend it.

20 seconds of work followed by 10 seconds of rest. That's one Tabata interval or "Tabata" if you're in the gym and want to sound like all the cool kids. Sounds simple, right? This little gem, a staple of most of the hardest workouts around, revolutionized - some say even began - the fitness frenzy surrounding high intensity interval training or "HIIT." (To prove you're both hip and culturally relevant, feel free to tell your workout partner to "HIIT me baby, one more time!" Bonus points if you do the hair-flippy move. Extra bonus points if your partner replies, "Ok, Bit-Bit!"(Double parenthetical: Have you seen that video lately? She was such an earnest little singer! And, also, there's no way she hasn't had a boob job.))

Why Tabatas?
So how could something so simple be so revolutionary? According to the research, first started by Tabata himself on elite Japanese athletes, doing as little as four minutes (or 8 Tabatas) can increase your aerobic capacity, anaerobic capacity, VO2 max, resting metabolic rate, burn more fat (and make you look 200% crazier) not only as good as, but better than, a traditional 60 minute aerobic workout. That's right - 4 minutes of Tabatas can get you better fitness gains than a whole hour of running on the treadmill.

How To Do Tabatas
So why isn't everyone doing them? Well I said it was simple but I never said it was easy. In fact, if it is easy then you're doing it wrong. Those 20 seconds of rest are balls-to-the-wall* all out 100% effort. You should see stars. Your heart should be trying to claw a hole in your chest cavity to get out. You should be able to play Rorshach in the ginormous puddle of sweat surrounding your machine. You might even see a light and a long tunnel (don't worry, you're not dying it's just the flashlight thingy the medics are shining in your eyes to check for a concussion after you passed out and hit your head on the treadmill handlebars.) You know those RPE (rate of perceived exertion) charts on the wall of every gym? During Tabatas, you should be a 10+. Barftastic!

Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be a runner to do Tabatas. Any aerobic activity - biking, swimming, jump roping, boxing, squatting, Matrix-style building jumping - can be adapted to a Tabata interval. Although for beginners, running is probably the simplest way to start. For myself, the best (read: hardest) Tabatas I've ever done were punching Sensei Don during Karate class. Yeah, yeah, he was holding pads up. (I split my knuckles wide open on 'em and he still made me finish! I have never been so proud of workout wounds.) Incidentally, the very first Great Fitness Experiment I ever ran - over 3 years ago - was Tabata intervals for twenty horrible minutes on the stationary bike. To this day, the Gym Buddies and I do them about once a week.

To do a running Tabata, all you need is a track or a treadmill. If you are on the track, simply run at full speed for 20 seconds, stop and suck wind like you're the only windmill keeping South Dakota on the grid for 10 insanely short seconds, and then repeat 7 more times. If you are on the tready, power that baby up until it sounds like a jet ready for takeoff. The Gym Buddies and I do max speed but just do whatever you think is the fastest you can run. It will look scary and too fast but you'll be fine once you jump on, I promise. (Or you'll fall off. I've done that too. You'll still be fine, albeit a tad rug-burned.) Jump on and run for 20 seconds. Straddle the belt and hoover in some air for 10 seconds. Repeat 7 times.

The Trick
The trick to a good Tabata workout is this: a good timer. You cannot estimate when 20 seconds and 10 seconds have passed. I promise you. No matter how good you think you are 1-mississippi-ing, your brain will be so fuzzy that you will need help. If you are running on a treadmill you can use the clock on the display - just make sure you start on a 0 or you'll have to do math and sprint at the same time which adds a level of difficulty not even Einstein would want.

If you're not on a treadmill though, timing is hard. There is an iPhone app for it (if there's a "Pocket Girlfriend" app, of course there's a Tabata timer!) but who wants to hold their phone in their sweaty hand while they're sprinting so hard that blackness is overtaking their vision thereby making it highly likely they will crash into something (a real girlfriend, maybe?)? You can download a "Tabata song" onto your iPod that just beeps repetitively for half an hour but then you can't listen to your music while you do it. You can also program your watch to beep in intervals but if you can figure out how to do that then you're smarter than me and my computer science degree put together. (Ok, not that that's hard - I'm a ridiculously bad programmer.)

The easiest way I've found is to just get a simple gym timer. Gymboss sent me one of theirs to try out for free and I really liked it. Its only purpose in life is to be an interval timer. No worries about deleting your podcast or resetting your lap count or accidentally changing your ring tone to *beep* 20 seconds *beep* 10 seconds. You can set it to any interval you'd like and it also has a vibrate option if you prefer to be discreet with your Tabata-lovin'.

Any of you love (to hate) Tabatas like I do? How do you time yours? Are you the kind of person who prefers short super-intense workouts or would you rather run at a steady pace for 60 minutes than endure a HIIT? Anyone else ever fallen off the treadmill??

*All these years I've been saying this, I have thought it had something to do with running balls - as in basketballs, kickballs, whatever-balls - to the wall in some kind of mad speed drill. But having just typed that out I think it may perhaps have a cruder meaning? Although I can't imagine what those balls would have to do with walls and running. Please don't disillusion me. Update: Chelsey educated me in the comments, "I believe that "balls to the wall" is actually an aviation metaphor. That stick that they push forward to make the plane go faster has a ball on top of it and when it's pushed "to the wall" you are going all out." So both my innocent and dirty thoughts were wrong! Buwhahahah!

Intercostals & Obliques....

Well-defined and tight abs are the most sough-after body part, because a hard midsection is associated with being in good shape. In order to design a program that will properly stimulate the abs, we first need to take a small anatomy lesson.

When I train my abs I break the abdominals down into four main muscle groups:

1. The Rectus Abdominis (composed of upper and lower abdominals)
2. The Oblique Muscles
3. The Intercostal Muscles
4. The Serratus Anterior


Oblique Muscles Function & Exercises

The external obliques are the muscles at the sides of the waist. The external oblique complex actually consists of three layers of muscles: the internal obliques, the transverse obliques and external obliques. Together, these muscles contract to tilt the torso, as well as twist it, from side to side.

While a bodybuilder would not want massive obliques as this would take away from symmetry and give the illusion of a thick waist, these muscle do need to be trained in order to maintain ideal postural alignment. A great exercise for these muscles is the side bends performed on a swiss ball. Another exercise that also needs to be performed for these muscles in order to exercise its rotating capabilities are the Russian Twists.


The Intercostal Muscles

The intercostals are the muscles of breathing that lie between the ribs and show as bands of muscle angling downward in the sides of the rib cage and the upper abdomen. The intercostals come into play by flexing the torso and causing it to twist, so doing any type of twisting crunch on a swiss ball will stimulate this group maximally.


The Serratus Muscles

The serratus anterior muscles are the finger-like strands of muscle on the rib cage between the front abs and the lats. Their job is to depress the rib cage and also assist in bringing the upper arms from a position pointing directly up from the shoulders to one pointing directly below the shoulders. A good exercise that will stimulate these muscles is the one-arm cable crunches (using an overhead pulley).


How Much, How Often?

Since we have now identified which exercises should be present in our specialized abdominal training routine, let's now figure out how much will we do of each and how often.

Believe it or not, the abdominal muscles are composed mainly of fast twitch fibers. These fibers (as opposed to the slow twitch, endurance type ones), are composed of the strongest types of muscle fibers and are thus designed for short bouts of explosive hard work. Because of this, fast-twitch fibers respond best to heavy weight/low repetition work. Therefore, performing more than 15 repetitions per set on your abdominal exercises will be largely a waste of time!

So for abs, lets keep the repetitions from as low as 5 to a maximum of 15. As far as sets, if you perform days of lower repetitions, you can do as much as 5 sets per exercise, while on higher repetition days you can get away with 3 sets. For abs, you want to mainly concentrate on the intensity of the contraction and you really want to feel the movement. However, ensure that you choose a tempo that allows you to finish all of your repetitions within a time span of 40 seconds.

Typically, as you lower the repetitions and increase the resistance, the lower the tempo should be and the higher the repetitions, the faster the exercise should be performed. Also, as you get stronger, you may want to start adding resistance to your exercises except for the ones that target the obliques. Oblique exercises should be executed with no weights even as the repetitions get lower. On lower repetition days, just concentrate on holding the contraction longer at the peak of the movement.

As far as how often, beginners need to keep in mind that fast twitch fibers take long to recover. Therefore, we need to train these muscles like we train any other muscles and give them the rest they need. Experienced trainers can vary because they understand their bodies...

wau..

You think you know, but you dont!

In 1985 I was a 15 year old gym rat. Although I had been boxing since I was nine years old the hardcore bodybuilding gym was a brand new world to me. Dynamic fitness, that was the gym I belonged to all those years ago back in my home town of Edison NJ. around the same time Local boy Rich Gaspari was the number two bodybuilder in the world just behind Lee Haney, he was also a frequent visitor at our gym. So the story goes here I am rowing away probably looking like a fish out of water when next thing I know this monstrous world champion body builder took a few minutes out of his own training to offer me instruction and some positive feedback. a blip in the day & life of that man but those few moments left a lasting impression on me.

I have trained in both boxing gyms & fitness gyms all throughout this country as well as Africa and I have always kept the mind frame of offering help & instruction. THE OTHER DAY I offered my help to a chubby kid in his early twenty's, he laughed at me and told me if he wanted advice he would ask the big guy in the squat rack! I smiled and understood his thinking, as wrong as I think it is. What does a small ripped man with 7% body fat at almost 40 & still boxing & sparring, pushing weight harder, heavier and with more intensity than ever.....what would I know?

I wondered on the ride home what if I had turned away from the hundreds of athletes, gym rats, doctors, nutritionists, fighters, trainers & body builders that I have been privledged to train with, learn from and listen too. What if I had the attitude bigger is better and I don't need anybody? The answer was easy, I would be a ALMOST 40 year old fat guy! So when you think you know, take a minute to listen, we never can stop learning about our fitness, nutrition and supplementing and if you do know, how about a little humility... maybe just maybe a lasting impression could be made. Live fit, be fit!!!

Rich

Women with muscular calves 4

Women with muscular calves 3

Start heavy and progressively decrease resistance, to shock the muscle.

FIT TIP: Breaking plateaus....
Every other week, pyramid your weight down every set, starting with your heaviest weight on your first set (after a sufficient warm-up) and progressively decreasing your weight and increasing your reps through your last set. In addition, perform a session of drop sets once a week for a month do an exercise to failure, decrease (“drop”) the weight, then keep going until you fail with that weight; continue in this fashion until you’ve finished all sets.

Have You Ever Hid a Healthy Habit?

Best hiding place ever! My kids would never find me in here!!

My house is a veritable treasure trove of hidden goodies. There are birthday presents stashed at the top of my closet, lingerie under the bed, dark chocolate peanut butter cups in the freezer (bonus: takes me longer to eat them that way. un-bonus: I have to pass by the cookie dough on the way to them.) and our emergency flashlight that my husband and I have hid and re-hid so many times that we don't even know where it is anymore. Obviously, my squirrel tendencies are because I live with 4 little people who have zero concept of respecting other people's belongings. Seriously, they think my panty liners are huge awesome stickers and no matter how many times I hide those suckers I still find them stuck all over the house.

But when it comes to food, I can't really blame the kiddos. In the past I've had some admittedly bizarre behaviors around food (behaviors that I have made a LOT of progress in fixing as of late - wahoo!). I hated eating in front of people. And yet I couldn't eat alone either. I destroyed food. I lied about it. I even hated it. And I hid it. While my food-hiding tendencies run more towards eating abstemiously in public and then shoveling in a half gallon of ice cream at home alone, a comment left on my post "The Slow Metabolism: Fact or Myth?" made me see food-hiding in a totally new perspective. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own neuroses that I forget other people have their own closeted crazies.

Jessica wrote, "I'm not sure I buy the whole 'some people can eat whatever they want and never gain weight' thing. There have been points in my life when I felt like I could eat whatever I wanted, and points where I've felt so obsessed with food that I was never going to win. Maybe there are a couple of people in the world who really can eat thousands and thousands of calories a day, but I think they're extremely rare. I think if you look more closely at those people who seem to be eating junk all the time, you'll find that the numbers add up-- they are not actually eating as many calories in a day as you think they are. If you're thin and don't have much stress around food, it's easier to only eat when you're hungry, and that cuts out a lot of calories. Also, people love to make it look effortless, because it makes them feel special and important, which means they're eating the candy in front of you and hiding the turkey on whole wheat. " [emphasis mine.]

I have this problem: I always think that people have always been the way that I know them now. For instance, when I meet someone new who is very thin it never occurs to me that they might have been heavy in the past or are recovering from a long illness or work very very hard for that tiny body. I just assume that they have always been thin and that it is easy for them. Weird, right? So when I see some skinny girl chowing down on the pie and ice cream, I think "Huh, she's really lucky. She must be one of those who can eat whatever she wants." And then I try not to roll up into a ball of shame and jealousy.

But Jessica makes an excellent point. Of course people are not always as they appear to be. This was brought home to me the other day when I walked into a lady's room to change Jelly Bean's diaper. A young, beautiful mother sat nursing her baby (it was one of those fancy lady's rooms with rocking chairs and plush couches and artwork! Oh yes men, those bathrooms really exist!) and we chatted a bit about our kids who were almost the same age. As I threw away the diaper - in a pail much nicer than the one I have at home, sigh - she suddenly stood up and the distressed look on her face surprised me. "I know this is really weird but I just have to ask you this before you leave?" I blinked. If she was going to try to sell me Amway or Quixstar or whatever it is now, I was ready to bolt. "How did you do it? You're so thin. I mean, you look like you've never even had kids." I turned 7 shades of red and stammered something about my last 10 pounds still hanging around. "No," she said more insistently, "I really really want to know. Did you do a diet? A workout? Pills??" My eyes widened as I contemplated explaining to her my brand of crazy. "I'm desperate," she added as if the tears filling her eyes didn't explain that well enough.

"Well yeah, I do eat healthy most of the time. And I workout." I thought about just leaving it at that - it is true, after all - but then I realized I'd be leaving her with the impression that I've always been this way and that it is easy for me, both of which are so laughably untrue that I plopped my butt down on the couch next to her, gave her a hug and proceeded to tell her my whole sorry story. Four different kinds of eating disorders, my Very Bad Boyfriend, my gymnastics team, my 6th grade health teacher, my bulimic grandmother - the whole shebang. We spoke for about 45 minutes during which I learned that she had been hospitalized with an eating disorder before she'd had her daughter and was now really struggling with the way motherhood had changed her body. By the time we parted I think she felt a lot better and I was immensely glad I had resisted the urge to let her believe I was what she assumed me to be. Sure I obliterated my "perfect" image but that conversation was so healing for both of us that I don't regret my honesty one little bit.

So whether it's hiding the fact that you eat healthy food 90% of the time so you can eat hamburgers and fries when you're in front of people, like Jessica pointed out, or whether it's hiding how much you workout, like I was tempted to do - I want to know, have you ever hid a healthy habit? What made you do it - were you afraid of being called a health nut? Afraid of being labeled as eating disordered (whether you were or not)? Were you just trying to avoid a slew of unwanted advice (You're a vegetarian?! You're going to die from a protein deficiency!!)? Are you ever tempted to just let others think you have it all together?

Spiced Apple and Pear Crisp

SPICED APPLE AND PEAR CRISP
This is my "healthier" alternative to the traditional calorie laden fall favorite! I used my mother's recipe as a base and played with alternative ingredients until I got it right! 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce 3 Fuji apples, peeled, cored, and thinly sliced 3 ripe but firm pears, peeled, cored, and thinly sliced 1 TBSP lemon juice 2 TBSP Stevia 1 TBSP grated ginger 2 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground nutmeg 3/4 cup whole wheat or oat flour 3/4 cup whole rolled oats 1/2 cup brown sugar (or to cut more calories use Stevia) 1/4 tsp salt Preheat oven to 350 degrees and spray a 7x11 baking dish with Pam. In a large bowl toss apples and pears with lemon juice, stevia, ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Spoon fruit mixture into dish and set aside. In a food processor pulse oats, flour, sugar/stevia, and salt till combined. Add unsweetened applesauce and pulse again. Spread over fruit mixture and bake until tender, juices are bubbling, and topping is crisp. 45-50 minutes Per 5 ounce serving; 200 calories 6g fat 32g carbs 3g protein 14-25g sugar (Depending on if you use brown sugar or stevia)

Women with muscular calves 2

Please Stop By

Hey Folks -

For some reason, your loyalty (if my Google Analytic numbers are any indication), has far outperformed my productivity with this blog in the last several months. Despite my nearly abandoning the blog, you're still providing me with a pretty darn respectable daily hit rate. I'm humbled and grateful. My original vision for the blog was to develop it into a revenue producing vehicle, but I got sidetracked with my core business (fitness training and specialty classes), my kids (especially in the summer) and the website featured in the logo above.

I would explain the purpose of the website but I'd rather ask you to check it out yourself. It's designed to serve my immediate community, but if it's successful, I plan to branch it out into surrounding communities, and, perhaps, even beyond those.

But first things first. Please take a few minutes to check it out, and then feel free to e-mail me through the website with your questions, suggestions and any ideas you have that might help me better serve my intended audience.

Thanks again for your participation in this experiment that is my work, and my joy. Here's the link: http://trivalleywellness.com/